So selfish
New changes to the I-600 process in adoptionland could extend the wait time for travel up to two months. My initial thought was so how will this affect me. Pathetic. The changes were brought about by NOIDs being issued in Vietnam right now, leading to a number of families having to return to the US without their children.
I’m actually relieved that the processing will occur before PAPs travel to Vietnam; I think it’s the right decision and it’s bound to save a lot of heartache. I just selfishly wish that this transition would happen maybe a few months from now and not during a period where I am bound to be caught in the confusion of the implementation of the new process. If there is truly corruption in the process, I’m loathing the people responsible for it right now. More so, though, I’m disappointed in myself for being so selfish about something that probably was designed to protect children from that corruption and families from being caught in its fall-out.
Obsession
All I am interested in right now is the baby. I think I used to have hobbies; I seem to remember that I used to go to the gym and play tennis and hang out with my friends. Now, I appear to be single-minded in my obsession over when I’m going to be able to go to Vietnam to bring my son home and all other things baby-related. I cannot decide on the baby’s name. I’m worried that the names I’ve chosen are inappropriate, since they tend to be derived from my cultural heritage and not his. I’ve been told by well-meaning friends that I shouldn’t name him Finn; that it doesn’t recognize his heritage. But do I need to give him a Vietnamese name in order to do that? The kid’s going to have trials and tribulations throughout his life generated by the racism inherent in America. Seems to me that it wouldn’t harm him to give him a name that is more in the mainstream. I plan to take him back to Vietnam and to teach him from an early age about the Vietnamese culture. But he will be American, too. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving him a name like Finn or Oscar. Am I completely off base?
I’m also obsessed with crib linens. Explain this one to me, please. I seem to believe that the theme of the baby’s nursery will somehow determine his future – I mean, it’s got to be something that significant for me to spend so much time online looking for custom crib linens, right? It was easy for me to open a savings account for his college fund, but I am never going to figure out whether to go with a safari, pirate or fireman/dalmation theme. Maybe I could integrate them all and have a mural of firemen saving a tented camp in Madagascar that was being raided by pirates?
I scheduled a vacation a few months ago, my last pre-baby vacation where I could go and do things that I wouldn’t necessarily do after the baby came home. I decided I would finally go to New Zealand, a country I’ve always wanted to visit and one that I don’t think would be readily accessible to me with a child (at least not like cities where I can just plant myself in one home-base hotel (as if I’ll be flitting off to Rome anymore)). Typically, I spend time thinking of things I’d like to do in the new countries I visit, not scheduling every moment, but assembling a game plan so I can make sure I hit some of the high points that put that destination on my list in the first place. I leave in two weeks, and I have no clue what I’m going to do, aside from visiting Milford Sound. I’ve booked my three hotels, and have flights between the areas, but that’s it. I’m not a fly by the seat of my pants sort of girl. I’m spontaneous sometimes, but never with things like this. I just wish that I were more excited about this trip. It’s ridiculous that I’m not thrilled to go (I do understand how fortunate I am to even have this luxury, and believe me, it’s not like I’m sitting on buckets of cash, this trip was something I saved for). I suppose it’s simply the fact that the only trip I want to take right now is to Hanoi. Go figure.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
