Tracy on corruption and moral relativism

Tracy, mom to the adorable Noah and Zoe, made me think a bit more about corruption in adoption.  I think generally we’re differing on of the semantics on what constitutes “corruption.”  I believe that there are both legal and ethical components of corruption.  There are obviously differences in US and Vietnamese law, so as a basic premise, adoptions in Vietnam need to comply with both sets of laws.  The problems we’ve seen recently appear to imply that Vietnam law may have been complied with (or not stringently enforced), while US visa law and regulations may have been violated.  Actually, as we won’t get the details on what caused the NOIDs, this is really speculation on my part. 

As Tracy suggests, I’m sure discrepancies in paperwork occur, even though we would all like it to be the case that they don’t.  Am I saying that an adoption must be considered to be corrupt if any alteration has been made to any adoption paper?  Probably not.  But I do think we need to be extremely careful about going down this slippery slope.  Moreover, as an attorney who is in the process of adopting, I would be crazy to ever advocate violating the law!

Personally, I think the more interesting part of Tracy’s comment relates to the ethics of adoption.  She mentioned that she wasn’t sure whose ethics should apply to international adoptions (the sending country’s, or those of the receiving country).  I actually don’t believe there are differences in ethics. 

I am not a moral relativist (someone who believes that there are no moral absolutes, or that moral truths differ from society to society (or even person to person)).  I am a moral realist.  I believe there is one truth underlying an ethical principle (even if I don’t always know what that truth is – that black is black, white is white and there should be no gray (the only gray is what we don’t yet understand)).  I don’t believe there is one truth here and possibly another in another culture (e.g., that one person may hold the belief that slavery is acceptable, another person holds the belief that it is not acceptable, and both people are right).  Having said that, I do believe we should be tolerant of most other beliefs.  I just don’t believe that we have to agree with those beliefs, if that makes sense.

In fact, I think most people are moral realists, even if they have been conditioned to think that they are moral relativists (see the slavery hypo – I’m betting you don’t believe both statements are true).  In our culture, we’re taught from an early age that we shouldn’t judge others; that their opinions are as valid as our own.  I generally believe this.  This does not mean that I think that those opinions are actually correct, though. 

So, as this relates to adoption, I don’t think there is one set of ethics in Vietnam and one in the US.  I think the ethical principles underlying adoption are the same in each country.   For example, if someone were to say that it might be ok in Vietnam to manipulate a few pieces of paperwork because in the end the baby being placed for adoption would have a better life in the US, I’d say that was unacceptable.  And, please believe me, that I’m very relieved that that cursory determination in my case (via the I-600 procedure) regarding “my” child’s paperwork will occur before I meet this little boy.  If I were to find out something different after I brought him home, would I feel the same?  I think I would, but I can’t imagine a case where I would actually return him to Vietnam if I were to find out after the fact that there had been an issue with his paperwork (unless I became aware of an actual case of coercion).  I would, however, forever question how to deal with that matter.

While I don’t always agree with the opinions of former PAPs who are now APs, I do agree with Tracy that my feelings towards what is right and what is wrong in adoption might at some point change.  I just don’t believe that that means that what is actually right and what is actually wrong has changed.  It’s more that my particular circumstances may have changed so that I might be more expansive in my determination of what’s acceptable.

November 26, 2007 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, Vietnam | 1 Comment