Disjointed Weirditude

So, I’ve been a bit uneasy about my referral ever since I received it.  I got the call during the NOID crisis and before the new I-600 process was announced, so, obviously, that tainted my experience a bit.  I’ve had all of the usual euphoric feelings that I imagine we all have, but when those subsided, I was left with this feeling, a detachment, that I couldn’t really comprehend.  At first, I thought I was concerned with whether the baby’s first mother was coerced in any way (or, even worse, if she has no idea whether the baby is going to be adopted internationally).  I don’t think that that was the root of the detachment.  I think I get it now, though.  I’m concerned that the baby in the picture isn’t going to be my child.  I don’t for a second think that my agency has engaged in anything other than the most ethical behavior.  I think I’m just concerned that until I get through the I-600 process (which, for me, has not even started), I can’t take anything for granted.  I know that I will adopt a child at the end of this process, but I’m just not sure that it’s going to be the little boy whose picture is on my refrigerator.  Not so much a feeling I want to be experiencing.  I’ve read a lot of blogs, and I haven’t seen anyone mention this.  I take that to mean that either I’m some sort of monster, or others don’t write about this.

Weird thing #2, I found out today that “my” baby (see, I won’t even type it yet) has the same name as my ex-husband.  This is actually extremely strange, since they share an extremely uncommon name.  What does that mean? 

While writing this, I’ve found out that the first approvals under the I-600 process were received early this morning.  Congratulations to those of you who received fantastic news this morning from the USCIS! (as if you’re reading blogs when some of you are traveling on Thursday!).  I guess I get to wrap this up on a high note.

December 3, 2007 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, referral, Vietnam, Waiting | 5 Comments