Optimism

I’ve decided to start the year off with a new perspective.  I’m no longer going to think about the fact that half of Oscar’s clothes will be too small for him whenever I pick him up, I’m thinking of the fact that I can donate all of the smaller clothes I bought to either the orphanage or a local charity.  Instead of whining about the fact that I thought I’d be on maternity leave by now, I’m reminding myself that the delay just means that I might be on leave during the spring instead of the winter, which isn’t all bad.  Instead of counting the seemingly never-ending days of this wait, I’m thinking about the fact that now that I’ve paid my fees, I can watch my savings account slowly tick back to where it was a few months ago.  And, instead of obsessing over when my agency will send a new picture, I’m encouraging myself to believe that the fact that I haven’t seen a new photo in 11 weeks gives me the opportunity to be excited all over again when I do get one, since there’s no way he’ll look anything like he did three months ago.

I don’t know how long this new perspective thing will last, but I’m hoping to make it at least a week.  Yes, I know that’s quite pathetic, but if you knew me, you’d understand that even typing the word “optimism” was a giant leap.  And, by the way, the photo is not of me.

January 2, 2008 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, Waiting | 6 Comments