Hmm

Anyone else wondering what’s going on in Vietnam right now?  I understood the holiday breaks and the associated decline in I600 approvals, but CIS and the Embassy have been back to work for two weeks now and approvals are not speeding up.  I’m fairly bright, but I’m not getting this (unless what’s going on is that CIS and/or the Embassy intend to basically shut down adoptions before the MOU expires).   If you’re aware of families in Vietnam right now for G&R’s, would you mind dropping me a line? 

February 29, 2008 Posted by | Adoption, Vietnam, Waiting | 10 Comments

Howdy

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It’s come to my attention that I have some new visitors from Vietnam checking in periodically.  I just wanted to welcome you.  Feel free to stop by often, and we’d love to hear your thoughts on the new I-600 process.  Figure if you have the time to check in, you’d likely have the time to drop us a line.

February 28, 2008 Posted by | Adoption | 7 Comments

My current mental state

This is a picture of my favorite beach near where I live:

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I feel like I’ve been driving to this beach.  It’s a fair distance from my house, on a twisting and mountainous road, with frequent delays in one spot because of traffic.  That doesn’t really bother me, though, because I know that when I get to the beach it’s going to be sunny and 71 degrees with just a very light wind.  Suddenly, and without warning, I come upon a barricade preventing me from getting to my destination.

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It seems there’s been a landslide from the development on the mountainside.  I know they’re going to remove the debris from the landslide and fix the road eventually, but I don’t know when that will occur.  Today?  Tomorrow?  In 30 more days?  In 30 more working days?  What’s a “working” day?  I’m angry, frustrated and confused, wondering why didn’t the people responsible for this foresee this problem.  Why isn’t someone doing something to fix this problem?  Don’t I pay a bizillion dollars in taxes to have people to take care of this?  Can’t additional resources be found to fix this?

All the while, traffic behind me is piling up.  Car after car now waiting in line, the other drivers wanting to get to the beach, many of them honking their horns and yelling, making me want even more to get to the beach so I can experience the peace that I’ve been anticipating.  Even more upsetting, periodically I see cars on the other side of the barricade, creating even more confusion.  How in the world did they get there?  Weren’t they behind me just a minute ago?

Out of all the frustration and confusion one simple thought comes through clearly.  For crying out loud, fix the freakin’ road, guys.

Some PAPs have banded together here to see if they can get the road fixed.  I hope it happens soon.

February 19, 2008 Posted by | Adoption, Vietnam, Waiting | 5 Comments

The importance of words

I guess that I should not be surprised that there is yet another change in the I-600 procedure.  We heard rumors last week about CIS in HCMC telling PAPs that the 60 day timeframe for review is now 60 working days (and we all know how many days they don’t work).  I’ve seen an actual confirmation from CIS delivered last week that now includes the word “working” in it.  Those of you waiting with me might want to check your confirmations to see what they say.  I’ve been waiting for a while now, and mine certainly isn’t qualified.  One has to wonder if CIS and the DoS have painted themselves into a corner with the backlog of applications they have yet to get through and the number of holidays they’ve enjoyed over the past three months.  Here’s hoping that when they return to the office in a few short hours they return with a new-found desire to help the children waiting in orphanages across the country of Vietnam for their American parents to come get them.

February 18, 2008 Posted by | Adoption, Vietnam, Waiting | 1 Comment

THE most important thing you may ever read

I thought long and hard about simply linking to one of the most insightful posts I’ve seen, but I know you people.  I’ve read my stats.  A lot of you do not actually click through to the sites I’ve linked.  Hey, this is fine, free will and all that, but there are times like this when it is too important to me to ensure that my readers have access to the funniest thing I’ve read in a long while.  I did not write this, but I actually wish that I had . . .

“Has the whole world gone nuts, or is it just Yahoo Groups?

On the advice of counsel, I’d like to mention that what you are about to read is fictional. Any similarities to actual events or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental. The characters mentioned are composites only, and in no way represent actual individuals. All in good fun, folks. If you don’t understand this post, you’ve never belonged to a Yahoo group. At least not a Vietnam one. 

New Recipe Exchange Yahoo Group

This group is for all in the recipe community. We’re here to learn from each other and support each other as we go through the baking process together. WELCOME to the group!!

Member #1: I just found the most awesome brownie recipe. These really are the best brownies ever!!

Member #2: How do you know these are the best brownies ever? Have you tried every brownie recipe out there? Are you a brownie expert? Isn’t it a little irresponsible of you to come here with unsubstantiated RUMOR? Who the heck do you think you are anyway, trying to tell all of us how to do it? Most of us have been here for years. Why don’t you just crawl back under the cake pan you came from and take your #$%* brownies with you!

Memmer #3: To bad how sum peeple seem to foget that I alreudy posted the best brounie recippy ever last moth, in post #5(3, and if you well recal I wus alreudy warning everwon at that time about this knew, dangrous trand of adding pecans instedd of walnuts, which I see the first comentator has don in her sposed “awesome” recippy. Az I sed meny times, tis is only going to cauze probelms for ever other brounie baker out their. How can you jussify your thoughtles, selfish axtions?

Member #1: I’m deeply sorry if I’ve offended anyone with my brownie recipe. That was certainly not my intention. I had no idea my addition of pecans would be considered selfish. If someone could explain to me exactly how pecans are selfish, I would love to hear it. I mean really, I would. I thought I had finally found a place where I could share my recipes in a mature environment, but I guess not. I do have a great cookie recipe to share. If anyone’s interested, you can just email me privately and I’ll be happy to give you the recipe.

Member #2: HYPOCRITE! First it’s brownies and now it’s cookies… Funny how easy it is for you to switch back and forth as it suits your purposes! After you’ve already benefitted from the brownies, now you’re going to cram cookies down our throats? Where are your ethics? And I see you don’t have the guts to post your cookie recipe on the list. What do you have to hide? Hmmm? Right now, I feel like going WWE on your buttocks. People like you really make me sick. You are what’s wrong in the baking world today.

Member #4: Hi! I’m new to this group. I’m so happy to be here. How many members are in this group? I’ve been baking for years but I’m looking forward to learning new things from all of you!! Hey, if anyone has trouble with burning themselves while baking, I know of a great burn ointment.

Mamber #3: Whut we need two due is regalate the hole prosess. I sed that all alonge.

Member #4: I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean. Regulate what whole process? Can you please explain? Is it possible you meant to reply to someone else’s comment? I just joined this group.

Mumble #3: I downt haf to explane enything to you. My commets wer takun strate frum the govermets websit. Go reed it youself.

Member #2: We don’t discuss burn ointments here. This is not the proper forum for that. You’ll have to start a new group specifically for burn ointments. Where the heck is the moderator?

Member #5: Has it ever occured to any of you people that some of us have allergies to nuts? I’m so sick of the blatant discrimination that goes on here. Do you really think you should be flaunting the fact that you can eat nuts while some of us are suffering without them? Did it ever occur to you that I would love to eat a #*$& pecan or a walnut, but I can’t? Besides, my neighbor has a sister who is a professional baker and she said her assistant heard from someone who dated a guy who would know that nuts may or may not cause something bad to happen sometime in the near to distant future, so there. Those are the FACTS! So, enjoy your nuts, folks. You know, it’s really sad- I joined this group because I thought there would be recipes for people like me, but I can see there’s not. So, please cancel my membership to this group.

Member #1: I wish we could stick to recipes. Wouldn’t we all get along better if we stayed on topic?

Member #2: This list is open to all topics except burn ointment. Everyone’s opinions are welcome here, so shutup. No one wants to hear what you think.

Nember #3: Yess. Thas esattly whut I wus sawing. You prooved my poit.

Member #2: I’ve started a petition to get members #1 and #4 banned from this group. It’s at www dot shut them the blank up dot com. Please come sign it. Together we can do some good.

Menber #3: Fourty Seven.

Mombar #3: I tortaly agee wih you. Exselent poit. Thayk you for sush an insighfull post! I downt no how yoo due it, butt you say tings so mush cleerer than I ken. Thanc yue!

Member #2: Which post are you agreeing with? And what is “Fourty Seven?” Why can’t people on this list ever hit the reply button when replying to messages, instead of the post button? Is that asking for too much? And while we’re at it, is it too difficult to trim your replies? All I’m asking for is a little common courtesy.

Seems kind of silly, doesn’t it? Good thing stuff like this never happens in real life. That would be crazy.”

Simply Hilarious.  I have read this three times now and I am still laughing out loud.   One of my favorite posts ever.

February 14, 2008 Posted by | Adoption | 14 Comments

Where’s the balance?

Aside from the obvious fact that I’ll have my child home with me, know why I am so anticipating being finished with this adoption?  Simply because I don’t want to be part of the negativity in VN adoptionland.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve “met” some really smart, interesting and funny PAPs and APs out there, and I’ve gathered more information on this process than I possibly could have without this network.  I’m worn down from the nastiness on the Yahoo! groups.  Clearly, I could stop reading them, and I do try.  I find myself getting sucked in time and time again (not participating, of course, less someone attacks me, too).

I fear these fights are going to continue to worsen with the negotiations that will soon begin.  I’m frustrated with being told repeatedly of the unethical agencies with all of their NOIDs, almost all of which have been cleared.  When someone counters with that fact in defense of an agency it is almost always met with the statement that these APs are fighting the poor over-burdened US government with the APs fancy high-priced attorneys.  What?  I’m astonished at the fact that people (most of whom I would imagine loathe the current administration) characterize CIS and the DEPARTMENT OF STATE as the underdogs in these fights.  Why is this not the case?  They are the US government.  The final decision lies with them.  If they had a basis on which to deny a visa, they would do it.  Clearly this is what they wanted to do when they issued a Notice of Intent to Deny.  I find myself wondering whether those who think our poor little government doesn’t have the wherewithal to fight these things have ever gone up against a government agency?  I’ve seen it from the government’s side.  They have the resources.

I’m also tired of this I-600 debacle.  I don’t begrudge USCIS and DOS the right to investigate to ensure that the children adopted from VN are true orphans.  I understand that we might not necessarily do that in all countries, but here, where there is a history of corruption, I think that if these agencies feel there is truly wrong-doing, they should check it out.  The important thing here is that children who are truly available for adoption find homes, not that people who want kids get them.

What I worry about is the apparent presumption that all adoptions are suspect.  It creates the environment of a witch hunt, searching for anything in support of that presumption.  Taking this position results in every adoption being investigated.  Doing so in a timely manner is simply not feasible with the number of employees that have been allocated to the task.  I believe these people are working; there are just too many applications and too few employees.

The fall-out from this is that children (many with special needs and many of whom, while not being classed as special needs, have medical conditions that will worsen over time without treatment, which they’re not getting) who should have been released from orphanages (many of which are without electricity and heat during this, a winter of record cold) into the arms of loving parents are still stuck there, growing more attached to the caregivers from whom they will be separated and growing more likely to have an attachment disorder because of their lengthened residence in an institution.

Something has got to be done about this.  I don’t believe our government is evil (far from it).  I don’t believe the employees of these agencies in HCMC and Hanoi want to keep these children from finding homes.  I believe that the basic premise of this new system, to ensure that these kids are true orphans, is of extreme importance.  I just believe that perhaps the implementation of this new procedure was a bit reactionary (and possibly motivated by matters not entirely disclosed to us).  USCIS could have issued a notice that it was going to put a hold on adoptions from the problematic provinces and given itself additional time to implement the new process.  Doing so could have prevented the process from seemingly grinding to a halt.

Just as last fall’s problems with paperwork must be fixed, the bottleneck that USCIS has unintentionally (I hope) created with this new procedure must be remedied.  I’m concerned, though, that while a lot of PAPs support the “Orphan’s First” process (just not the extreme delays), our government does not share our desire to balance that process with the interests of these children in finding their forever families.  I hope I’m wrong.

February 14, 2008 Posted by | accountability, Adoption, Vietnam, Waiting | 6 Comments

Huh?

I don’t want to get into the old agency debate again, but I’m a little confused by this article in the NY Times.  Seems three of the NOID cases from October have been cleared by USCIS, but that the Department of State is now preventing them each from receiving a visa. 

Does anyone understand this process?  I understand that we’re looking at a two-stage review now.  USCIS and then State.  What is State doing that is different from USCIS?  I am absolutely not trying to be provocative here, I really just want to understand this, as it new to me.  One agency investigates and finds no wrong doing, but the other does.  How can that be?  Are there different standards applied in the investigations?  If anyone has real data on this, I’d love to hear (see) it.

February 11, 2008 Posted by | Adoption, Vietnam, Waiting | 3 Comments

Protected: I SCREAMED at someone today

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February 10, 2008 Posted by | Adoption, Single mothers, Women, working mothers | Enter your password to view comments.

Stop me before I spend again

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For yet another reminder of why this wait needs to be over, I present to you my latest “travel-related” expenditure:

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Yeah, that’s right, the new, super skinny, Macbook Air.  In a moment of weakness, I ordered this using as a justification (among many others) the fact that it has built in wireless, takes up almost no space and only weighs three pounds.  Since I’ll be carrying an infant and a huge diaper bag and likely pulling a large suitcase through the airport, I thought the four pounds this machine cuts from the weight of my work laptop  justified the cost.  If that wasn’t enough of a justification, I figure that the fact that I really shouldn’t take my laptop from work to VN is sufficient (you know, what if it gets lost or stolen or something).  Of course, I know this logic doesn’t hold, given the fact that there are many MANY other laptops out there that cost hundreds (if not over a thousand) of dollars off the pricetag.

This, sadly, is not entirely out of the ordinary for me.  These binges used to only occur, though, when I had worked too much (say, over three hundred hours a month).  I haven’t done anything like this since last June, so maybe I was overdue.  For now, that’s good enough for me.

February 4, 2008 Posted by | Shopping, Waiting | 3 Comments

Protected: I think I’m going to throw up

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February 2, 2008 Posted by | work | Enter your password to view comments.

   

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