On the advice of counsel, I’d like to mention that what you are about to read is fictional. Any similarities to actual events or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental. The characters mentioned are composites only, and in no way represent actual individuals. All in good fun, folks. If you don’t understand this post, you’ve never belonged to a Yahoo group. At least not a Vietnam one. 

New Recipe Exchange Yahoo Group

This group is for all in the recipe community. We’re here to learn from each other and support each other as we go through the baking process together. WELCOME to the group!!

Member #1: I just found the most awesome brownie recipe. These really are the best brownies ever!!

Member #2: How do you know these are the best brownies ever? Have you tried every brownie recipe out there? Are you a brownie expert? Isn’t it a little irresponsible of you to come here with unsubstantiated RUMOR? Who the heck do you think you are anyway, trying to tell all of us how to do it? Most of us have been here for years. Why don’t you just crawl back under the cake pan you came from and take your #$%* brownies with you!

Memmer #3: To bad how sum peeple seem to foget that I alreudy posted the best brounie recippy ever last moth, in post #5(3, and if you well recal I wus alreudy warning everwon at that time about this knew, dangrous trand of adding pecans instedd of walnuts, which I see the first comentator has don in her sposed “awesome” recippy. Az I sed meny times, tis is only going to cauze probelms for ever other brounie baker out their. How can you jussify your thoughtles, selfish axtions?

Member #1: I’m deeply sorry if I’ve offended anyone with my brownie recipe. That was certainly not my intention. I had no idea my addition of pecans would be considered selfish. If someone could explain to me exactly how pecans are selfish, I would love to hear it. I mean really, I would. I thought I had finally found a place where I could share my recipes in a mature environment, but I guess not. I do have a great cookie recipe to share. If anyone’s interested, you can just email me privately and I’ll be happy to give you the recipe.

Member #2: HYPOCRITE! First it’s brownies and now it’s cookies… Funny how easy it is for you to switch back and forth as it suits your purposes! After you’ve already benefitted from the brownies, now you’re going to cram cookies down our throats? Where are your ethics? And I see you don’t have the guts to post your cookie recipe on the list. What do you have to hide? Hmmm? Right now, I feel like going WWE on your buttocks. People like you really make me sick. You are what’s wrong in the baking world today.

Member #4: Hi! I’m new to this group. I’m so happy to be here. How many members are in this group? I’ve been baking for years but I’m looking forward to learning new things from all of you!! Hey, if anyone has trouble with burning themselves while baking, I know of a great burn ointment.

Mamber #3: Whut we need two due is regalate the hole prosess. I sed that all alonge.

Member #4: I’m sorry I don’t understand what you mean. Regulate what whole process? Can you please explain? Is it possible you meant to reply to someone else’s comment? I just joined this group.

Mumble #3: I downt haf to explane enything to you. My commets wer takun strate frum the govermets websit. Go reed it youself.

Member #2: We don’t discuss burn ointments here. This is not the proper forum for that. You’ll have to start a new group specifically for burn ointments. Where the heck is the moderator?

Member #5: Has it ever occured to any of you people that some of us have allergies to nuts? I’m so sick of the blatant discrimination that goes on here. Do you really think you should be flaunting the fact that you can eat nuts while some of us are suffering without them? Did it ever occur to you that I would love to eat a #*$& pecan or a walnut, but I can’t? Besides, my neighbor has a sister who is a professional baker and she said her assistant heard from someone who dated a guy who would know that nuts may or may not cause something bad to happen sometime in the near to distant future, so there. Those are the FACTS! So, enjoy your nuts, folks. You know, it’s really sad- I joined this group because I thought there would be recipes for people like me, but I can see there’s not. So, please cancel my membership to this group.

Member #1: I wish we could stick to recipes. Wouldn’t we all get along better if we stayed on topic?

Member #2: This list is open to all topics except burn ointment. Everyone’s opinions are welcome here, so shutup. No one wants to hear what you think.

Nember #3: Yess. Thas esattly whut I wus sawing. You prooved my poit.

Member #2: I’ve started a petition to get members #1 and #4 banned from this group. It’s at www dot shut them the blank up dot com. Please come sign it. Together we can do some good.

Menber #3: Fourty Seven.

Mombar #3: I tortaly agee wih you. Exselent poit. Thayk you for sush an insighfull post! I downt no how yoo due it, butt you say tings so mush cleerer than I ken. Thanc yue!

Member #2: Which post are you agreeing with? And what is “Fourty Seven?” Why can’t people on this list ever hit the reply button when replying to messages, instead of the post button? Is that asking for too much? And while we’re at it, is it too difficult to trim your replies? All I’m asking for is a little common courtesy.

Seems kind of silly, doesn’t it? Good thing stuff like this never happens in real life. That would be crazy.”

Simply Hilarious.  I have read this three times now and I am still laughing out loud.   One of my favorite posts ever.