Notes from Vietnam
I did manage to write a little bit to keep my family and a few friends up to date while I was in Vietnam. Here’s the page if you’re interested in reading.
We’re home!
Jet lag sucks. Both Oscar and I have been suffering from it for the past day since we landed. His is so worse than mine, though. He doesn’t have the benefit of understanding that daylight means he should be awake, so he’s completely turned around. We managed seven hours of sleep last night, which I’m happy about.
My house looks like it’s been robbed. I have clothes, toys, food and all kinds of other stuff spread from one room to the next. It’s hard to find a single surface that is not covered in debris. Even so, it’s really great to be home.
Thank you all for your comments and email. I wasn’t expecting such a warm response to my last post. I’m extremely touched that you understand where I was coming from.
For those of you who have asked about logistics, etc., I’ll try to post more later, but I thought I should mention a few things you might want to consider. I think I would be irresponsible if I were to encourage everyone to go do what I did. One of the benefits of being single (aside from the fact that I don’t have to be frustrated with a husband who ignores the fact that it’s his turn to change a dirty diaper) is that I have an immense amount of flexibility. It’s a lot easier for someone like me to pick up and go to Vietnam than it is for families with kids. I also am lucky enough to work for a company that would be able to let me work outside the US if need be. Mostly, though, I was lucky enough not to be in a “blocked” province, so while there was still a risk of a NOID, it did not seem as likely as it could have been in another province. Not everyone has these advantages.
I think there’s a possibility that any of us could get a NOID. Not getting into the my agency is more ethical argument, but until you have a visa, your visa application can be denied. If you’re considering traveling without approval, you should think very seriously about what you would do in that situation. Would you become an ex-pat? Where would you live? I had a country in mind where my company could assist me with a work permit and Oscar with a residence permit, and I would not have gone without this back-up plan. My plan was to fight any NOID issued to me, and I felt more confident after obtaining legal advice about the process.
There are downsides to what I did as well. A prolonged stay in Asia is pricey. If you live like the Vietnamese, it’s not that bad, but of course, I stayed in western hotels, etc. and that adds up. There’s also a feeling of detachment. After a few weeks you don’t really feel like a tourist, but I never fully felt like I was part of a community there, either. I felt as though we were in a perpetual state of limbo. Skype is helpful, but it was tough being a new mother with a baby who didn’t like me at all and not having a support system around me. Not that I’m complaining. I was truly happy to have the opportunity to do what I did. I’m just trying to give a fuller explanation of what I did and the less positive aspects of the trip. I’m very independent, and I think that it’s possible that others might have a little more difficulty with this than I did (and it was difficult for me).
I would also caution those considering doing what I did to talk with a lawyer prior to going. There’s a well-known attorney who handles NOID cases. I don’t know her thoughts on word-of-mouth advertising online, so I’m not going to name her here, but I can give you contact info if you PM me.
More later after the adorable little monster has had a bottle, but I know some of you are contemplating a similar trip and I thought I should mention some of these considerations.
It’s G&R day, but not for me
The G&R for those of us from my agency approved last week is being held today. I imagine you expect me to post about that, but I won’t, since I won’t be attending. You might have noticed that over the past two months my blog has been noticeably less active than usual. You might have thought that I wasn’t posting because I was frustrated by the long delays. Yes, that was true, but there was another reason I wasn’t writing. I’ve been busy learning how to be a mom to my son.
I had my G&R the first week of March. You’re right, I did just receive my “approval to travel” from the Consulate. However, I had decided back in February that I was going to adopt Oscar regardless of what CIS and the State Department had to say about it. Somehow along the line my son had become far more important to me than my American citizenship (which is saying a lot, since I really do appreciate how lucky we are to be Americans). It became clear to me in February that I wasn’t going to be one of the lucky few with a quick approval. Also in February I became aware of the fact that my son’s orphanage had no means of heat (and no insulation from the cold). Add this to the fact that his orphanage had to ration formula and was at or over capacity because the children referred to Americans weren’t leaving and that many infants in other orphanages nearby had died as a result of a rhinovirus of all things, and something in me snapped.
I’m not a rule-breaker. I’m one of those people who does her taxes properly, never fudges on her deductions, fills in applications correctly and honestly, and doesn’t even jump to the head of the line while waiting. But here, I didn’t do as I had been told. Our CIS and State Department told us to file our I-600s in the US and then wait to go to VN after pre-approval. Sure, I submitted my I-600 in the US, but I didn’t exactly heed their warning about travel. I mean, I read their warning, but I didn’t read it like most other PAPs did. ”Strongly advised not to travel” to me is significantly different from “prohibited from traveling.”
Last time I checked, we Americans have a right to travel (it’s a presumptive right, but it is firmly established in U.S. law and precedent. In U.S. v Guest, 383 U.S. 745 (1966), the Supreme Court noted, “It is a right that has been firmly established and repeatedly recognized.” In Shapiro v Thompson, 394 U.S. 618 (1969), Justice Stewart noted in a concurring opinion that “it is a right broadly assertable against private interference as well as governmental action. Like the right of association, … it is a virtually unconditional personal right, guaranteed by the Constitution to us all”). Sorry for the law lesson, but it’s really bothered me to see people writing that they are not “permitted” to travel.
I understood what the State Department was saying and hoped to do with their warning. I took their warning seriously; I just decided to ignore it. When I hit day 27 of my supposed 60 day wait for approval, I decided to book a ticket to travel to VN. Just to be clear to anyone in VN reading this – my agency did NOT encourage me to do this – it was my decision. I understood the risks inherent in doing this. I decided to do it anyway. For the first time in my life, I was disobeying orders simply because I knew it was the right thing to do. I was right and what our government was doing was wrong. There was no desire here to go to Vietnam and bang on the door of CIS and the Embassy. Others have done that and it certainly didn’t work for them. I was going over to adopt my child and get to know him in his birth country (or so I thought) while we waited for his visa. I hoped it would be a short wait. I was wrong.
I did not believe I would receive a NOID, but of course the possibility was there. I would have been crazy not to acknowledge it. However, I had decided that if I did receive one, I would fight it, and given the large number of NOIDs that have been overturned, I believed I would win. Because my son’s story is his to tell, I am not going to divulge the reasons he was in the orphanage, but it is safe to infer that there are facts that made me confident that his placement was legitimate and properly done. I also had a safety net in that if I did get a NOID that could not be overturned, my firm has offices all over the world, so I would be able to continue to work.
So, I have been in Asia for the past eight weeks or so. It’s been an amazing experience, but one that I am happy is coming to an end. It’s been fantastic getting to know my son in an environment where it really has just been the two of us. Sure, we’ve met and spent time with a lot of great people and many other sweet kids, but our days are primarily filled with the two of us hanging out together. While I think most of my time at home will be spent that way as well, there’s no way that the focus on him could be quite as intense with the day to day diversions that we all experience (phones ringing, dogs needing to go out, etc.).
I’ll write more about our experiences, and perhaps open up the private page I’ve been keeping for friends and family to stay up to date on our travels. I’ve wanted to be honest about where I was and what I was doing, but I have to admit that I was afraid to disclose the truth. In the past six months I have become afraid of my American government. I was fearful that if I told you where I was, my approval would be held up even longer than it already had been. CIS became aware of the fact I had my G&R before I-600 approval when I had been here about two weeks. I suppose I’ll never know whether they actually did sit on my file as a means of teaching me a lesson. Let’s just say that I no longer think that the concept of agents of our government acting in a retributive manner is beyond comprehension.
One last point. I am not alone. Over the course of the past two months I have met many other women (and a few couples) waiting it out in Vietnam. I strongly suspect that as the delays continue and the number of days to approval continues to mount that this will become far more common.
I’ll leave you with some pics of my little boy. The first is from the first night we were together, and the second is from last week. I’ll post later about the immense changes he’s undergone just in the past month. Thanks for reading.
It’s sinking in!
I am now so completely excited about this approval I can hardly stand it. The news of my email is starting to sink in, and even better, two other families adopting from the same province (both of whom have been waiting so much longer than my already long 90 days) got their approvals on the same day! Huge day for all of us! Add that to the fact that another family who got their approval a couple of weeks ago and was waiting for others to have their G&R will now be allowed to travel, and the joy was almost overwhelming. It’s been a long time since so many families adopting from this province have had the opportunity to travel together. It should be a fun trip.
Maybe someone should pinch me?
Because I received my I-600 approval a few hours ago. I had to read it multiple times to make sure it wasn’t a letter telling me they couldn’t completely investigate, as I simply could not believe it was an approval. Sure enough, though, it says I can travel. For those of you still waiting and desperate for any info (as I have been for months). I submitted my I-600 in early January and had a log-in date of January 25th (although my approval has it noted as January 16th). I do not have a referral from a blocked province. If you count from CIS’ stated receipt date of January 16, I got my approval in exactly 90 days using the accounting method. I’ve been told that my application was the subject of a field investigation. That’s all I know.
I’m completely numb right now, I can’t even be excited just yet, since I keep thinking of all the other people waiting for just what I received who have been waiting so much longer than I did – not that 90 days is a short period. I am so sad that so many others have to continue to wait day after day to receive a simple little email that will change their lives. I’m just relieved I’m no longer in that group, as it is a horrible place to be.
EACH
Today, to celebrate the Anniversary of Hung Kings, the reason our civil servants in Vietnam are enjoying a day off, I thought that instead of focusing on the number of days I’ve been waiting for I-600 approval (very, very many) I’d write about an adoption-related website I happened to view a few days ago. The organization is called EACH, which stands for Equality for Adopted Children. It’s an advocacy group focused on the right of adopted children to be treated under law the very same as bio children. My favorite aspect of one piece of legislation EACH is backing (the Natural Born Citizen Act) is defining the term natural born Citizen, which is used multiple times in the Constitution, to include any person adopted by the age of 18 by a U.S. citizen parent or parents who are eligible to transmit citizenship to a biological child (i.e., any of the kids we’re adopting in Vietnam would be considered natural born citizens). Since embarking on this adoption, it’s bothered me that Oscar won’t have the same rights as other children. This legislation would enable Oscar to run for President (not that I would want that) if he desired, which otherwise he would not be permitted to do since he was born outside the U.S.
The founder of EACH was the author of the Child Citizenship Act, which became law on October 30, 2000. This is the law that enables our kids to become automatic U.S. citizens instead of having to be naturalized. She also helped negotiate the terms of the humanitarian effort that enabled families to bring their children home from Cambodia. She’s done some amazing work already; I’m certain she’ll continue to do so in the future. Check it out.
DNA
Has CIS posted its notice yet about the DNA testing they’ve implemented? Has anyone heard anything definitive about who is being swept into the testing (I understand the “abandoned” category, to the extent the internal memo was understandable). Wondering if they’re using this retroactively for those of us who have filed but are still waiting for news 60+ days later. My agency is contradicting itself, so I thought I’d ask.
On a completely unrelated note, am I wrong for liking the French again after their performance yesterday?
-
Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
