Am I ready to be back in the world of international adoption?  I’ve had my I-600 ready to file for two weeks now and I have not yet mailed it.  In real life, I’m one of those hard-charging overachievers who gets things done more quickly than most can imagine.  I generally procrastinate for a reason (although sometimes that reason is sheer laziness or exhaustion).  Is the reason here that I’m not ready to dive back into this pool?

Every time I think about adopting this child, I start to obsess over everything that could go wrong within the process itself.  Ethiopia really could shut down to singles.  I certainly have not been led to believe these rumors are anything but that except for word I’ve received from two agencies (and I talked to many others). But I’m worried that this concern is going to be in the back of my mind in the same way the concerns I had about Vietnam shutting down were always present when I adopted Oscar.  This isn’t really helped by the fact that the agency I chose is encouraging me to get my dossier in as quickly as possible just in case.  I’m also concerned about dealing with USCIS again.  I suspect my fears about them may not be rational, since the same issues that were dealt with in Vietnam aren’t as much of a problem in Ethiopian adoptions, but I’m still wary of them.  My life was turned upside-down for eight months while CIS decided what to do in Vietnam and how they would implement their plans.  I don’t want to go through that again.

What do they say, international adoption is not for the faint of heart?  From my experience and those of the folks I’m watching go through it now, it’s a rollercoaster, and I’m not a fan of that sort of excitement.

So where does that leave me?  Well, I’m going to adopt another child.  It’s simply a matter of geography.  I’m drawn to Ethiopia, but ultimately I don’t care where this child is from.  I’m not invested in having a child of a particular race, culture, whatever, although I’ll certainly be invested in their culture when we’re a family.  My primary objective in building my family through adoption has always been to provide a home to a child who needs one (this isn’t about “saving” a child, BTW).  There are kids all over the world who need a family. Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to go about adopting them as a single girl.  My international choices are extremely limited.  My domestic choices might not be so limited.

People (including many agencies) keep saying there is a great need for families who are interested in adopting African-American kids.  Obviously, I’m interested in doing so.  You want to know the reason I ultimately chose to go with Ethiopia instead of a domestic AA adoption?  It wasn’t because I thought there was a greater need to adopt from Africa – sure, on a macro level there might be, as there is a far greater number of orphans in Africa than in the US.  But on a micro level there isn’t.  Each of the children out there who need families deserve to have them.  The reason I dismissed domestic adoption was far sillier.  I’m scared of newborns.  They terrify me.  I have no idea what you’re supposed to do with them (other than the obvious feeding, changing, burping, etc.).  Because of this I almost automatically ruled them out (I get the irony, BTW, when so very many people want to adopt a child AYAP).  

Of course, domestic adoption is not without its own issues.  If I go down this path, I’ll need to really consider  whether it will be difficult for Oscar to have a brother or sister whose birth family might be in contact with him/her.  I’m, of course, a little concerned with the possibility that a birth mother would change her mind (you know, the classic adoption worry).  Clearly, I’m still in the process of working this through.  The upside of all this is that I’ll be able to focus my social worker on these issues instead of the state of my closets when she stops by next week.

I’ll let you know what I decide, of course.  Thanks for listening (yes, I know, reading).