Is it unreasonable

for a girl to expect her homestudy agency to actually get her homestudy started within two months of the date she first contacted them?  I first called my crackerjack homestudy agency in early July to ask for a homestudy update.  After seven phone calls (including two from my social worker to the director of the agency), I finally received pretty much every single application and form the agency had on adoption.  I completed all of it, knowing that some was redundant and sent it in the next day.  It has been six weeks since they received it and I have yet to receive a call from them telling me who my coordinator is (I’ve called and they won’t tell me).  Meanwhile, my social worker and I have had all of our meetings and I’ve almost finished my dossier.  The one and only thing holding me back here is this incompetent agency.

How aggressive can I get with them?  I mean, they’re the ones who have the right to deny my homestudy, which would then send me to another one, wasting another $2600.  Do agencies fire clients for pushing them too hard?  The only reason I even care is that docs expire in 3 months for Ethiopian adoptions, and I started my dossier a while ago.  This seemed like an ok thing to do as my original homestudy was completed in three weeks.  How an update can take this long is beyond me.  It’s frustrating that my SW and I are finding ways to work around them so we can have our part of the process done when they finally get to me.

Anyway, I met with my SW last week and I have to say she’s just the most wonderful woman.  We talked for hours about the Thai situation as well as Oscar.  I really underestimated the benefit of a good social worker. We thoroughly discussed what we both think is the right child for my family right now – age, health, race (we both agree that being multicultural/international is probably better than doing domestic adoption for my family), etc. Since she’s spent so much time with Oscar, and has a pretty good take on his emotional state, I really appreciated her advice.  I was surprised that her primary concern was age.  She thinks that, given Oscar’s attachment issues, bringing an infant into our home is the preferable choice.  There’s less competition and it’s less likely he’ll have significant issues with a little baby that’s just being held (as opposed to running around and being in his face).  I think I need to give some credence to this, if only because I’m doing this second adoption so quickly after the first.  I just want to make sure Oscar’s as ok as he can be with what I’m doing to his life.  So, after adoption #1 when I said I was open to a child up to 4 years old, I’m now jumping into the pack of PAPs requesting an infant under 1 year of age.  I know, I’m part of the problem and not part of the solution.

September 8, 2008 - Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, Red Letters Campaign - Adoption Journal | adoption agencies, homestudy