A question
What are people’s thoughts on my taking Oscar to Ethiopia when I pick up his sister sometime next year? Obviously, there are pros and cons on each side. He’ll be far too young to actually remember such a trip, but it would be part of our family history, so there’s an advantage there. I also just cannot imagine going away for over a week without him. After all the work we’ve done with respect to attachment, I hate to think of the impact leaving him with my friends / parents would have on him (in addition to what I’m already going to do to him adding a sister to the mix). The downsides are the travel, the less than ideal conditions (although I don’t know if they’re any more difficult than those in Vietnam and we did fine there), and the split in my attention (although he’ll be getting used to that). Anyone out there actually do anything like this?
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
If you post this question on one of the adoption listserves, you will get VERY strong opinions each way.
When my husband and I adopted our daughter from Vietnam, we took our 13-month-old bio son. We really struggled with the decision, but in the end we were so glad he was there with us.
Is there someone who can travel with you? I can’t imagine having done the trip without my husband (or another adult). Also, our VN trip was over three weeks, instead of just one week. In just one week, Oscar my have trouble adjusting to the time change and then adjusting back, so it may not be worth it.
It’s a very personal decision, and whatever choice you make will be the right one for your family. If it makes you feel any better though, we did visit the psychiatrist at the adoption clinic near us when we were trying to make the decision, and she really didn’t feel that our son would be permanently injured either way.
You crack me up!! Too bad you don’t live in the South! If you did you could say what my friend Scarlett and I say all the time, “Fiddle-dee-dee! I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” K