Slowing things down

Okay, I know I mentioned I was slowing down my second adoption.  I’ve decided that that decision might have been a bit reactionary.  I don’t like the idea of waiting at all.  And this doesn’t even have anything to do with my I want it now problem (believe me, I might have a problem in that arena).  I just feel like since I waited so incredibly long to start my family, it’s time to complete it.

The past month may have been pretty stressful – the still undiagnosed eye thing, the autism and developmental delay worries, the incredibly unhelpful “early” start people (which I’ll write about when I’m not so angry), Oscar’s viral thing (which really might be the measles) and of course the global financial melt-down -  but other than the last thing, they all seem to be the sort of “life” events that just happen and you deal with them.  Part of me was thinking it would be nice not to have that “am I going to get my referral today” cloud hanging over my head.  Instead, what I’ve found in the past few days is that I was thinking more of what happens if I can’t adopt from Ethiopia, and what happens if Oscar ends up being an only child, and even more, why am I letting economic worries keep me from finding my daughter.  Lastly, I found out that my brilliant home study agency forgot to send a copy of their license when they delivered the final document.  My reaction to this wasn’t “no big deal, I’m on hold.”  It was much more of an “are you kidding me, they’re holding up my adoption.”  Pretty good sign that I’m not ready to give this up just yet.  Sorry, Oscar, you really are getting a sister.

October 3, 2008 - Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, Ethiopia, Red Letters Campaign - Adoption Journal, Waiting | Adoption, Waiting