The decision
When we last spoke about my adoption saga, I was slowing things down a bit. I was highly stressed about Oscar – his physical health and his mental well-being. I was extremely worried about the economy and the impact adopting a second child would have on my career. I was very uncertain that Ethiopia was the right country for me. Not because I didn’t like it, but because Ethiopia has appeared to struggle with the concept of whether it wants to adopt its children to single mothers. In the past couple months, they’ve apparently come to a decision. They’re still allowing adoptions to single mothers, but it appears that the number of women each agency will be able to get through the process each year will be significantly restricted. As I’ve said before, that’s entirely their right. I just completely disagree with it, and while I still could adopt from there (I’m already accepted into a program and my agency doesn’t have that many singles, so I could make it through the process), I don’t want to be in a program that would prefer to not have me be a participant.
Where does this leave me, you ask? Well, the other concerns I had earlier seem to have dissipated. Oscar is doing better, and my concerns about the economy, my career, etc., while still present, are less worrisome to me. I’m fairly certain things there will work out as they should. It became pretty clear to me over the holidays that I don’t believe our family is complete just yet. We’re great for now, but I do believe we’re missing a member. So, as a result of all that, I’ve moved from my agency’s Ethiopia program into another. As of yesterday afternoon, I am in a program to adopt from Nepal. Nepal? Yes, I know they’ve had some significant issues in the past. Yes, I am wary of these. And yes, I am entering this program with not a little trepidation in starting a process in another country that has had corruption-related problems in the past. All that can be discussed another day.
For today, though, I’m just happy (relieved, actually) to be in this program. I don’t think this is going to be a quick process, nor do I think that it’s going to be all that smooth, but in the end I am certain it will be worth the struggle. I leave you with the following photo, which I find an appropriate depiction of where I am right about now in this adoption. What I would give to be a clueless first time prospective adoptive parent again…
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Congratulations on making the big decision!! It’s not easy to decide on a program, agency, etc., so it must be nice to have that piece behind you! Good luck on the journey!
Congrats!! Didn’t I read Nepal just opened back up? Good time to get in. Are you using WC again? I just looked at the Nepal program and it looks like the program is a lot more lenient for singles. Lots of restrictions for couples. I have never understood the concept of restricting certain couples or families from adopting ones orphan children. Do they feel they would be better off growing up in an orphanage then with a family of more then 4 children? Good luck and keep us informed.
CONGRATS!!!
I also read “Families who have children of both genders are ineligible to adopt from Nepal at this time” and since you have a little boy, you must adopt a girl? Is that the case with every agency? I have read about the reopening recently, but know so little about the program. I guess I will learn with you!!!
Thanks! And Dawn, yes, that’s right. It’s a little disappointing, as it would be great to have a chance at having another little boy (although I LOVE the idea of a girl, too, they just scare me a little more!). I also worry about contributing to a “demand” for adoptable little girls, but those are the rules.
Deciding on a country is a difficult decision. We hit some obstacles along the way when making our decision regarding country (ours was age). I wish you the best of luck as you pursue adoption #2 and look forward to following along in your journey.