Speak

It’s starting to make me crazy that Oscar won’t talk.  I’ve started obsessing about it, wondering what is causing this delay.  Is it solely related to having been in an orphanage?  Is it just a developmental delay?  Is there a genetic component?  What is a developmental delay, really?  What does it all mean?  Does he actually understand what we’re saying, but just can’t talk?  How will it impact him in the future?  Is there something I could be doing (or could have done) to change this situation? 

As frustrating as it is, we’ve worked out a bizarre method of communication, composed of grunts, head shakes and leaning motions.  It’s oddly effective.  Oscar refuses to sign (even when he knows the sign) when he wants something.  Instead, if I’m not already holding him, he’ll grunt so I pick him up, and then start leaning towards whatever it is that he wants.  If I tell him to use his words or sound out the word I think he needs, he just grunts again and leans harder (if you know what I mean) towards the direction he wants to go.  He’ll grunt again when I get where he wants to go, and if I pass it, he’ll shake his head and do his fake cry.  If I give him something he doesn’t want, he’ll throw it off his tray or just away from himself.  So, at least we have a method of communication, caveman-like though it is.

What gets me is how I’ve become so desperate to think he’s trying to say a word.  Yesterday he was in his highchair saying “da”, and since the dogs were in the room, I was quick to believe he was trying to say “dog.”  In reality, I suspect he was just saying “da.”  “Ba,” “da,” “ma” and “ga” are his big sounds (like any infant).  That’s pretty much it, and as much as I would like to believe that his “ma” is referring to me, I think I have to accept that sometimes “ma” is just ma.

March 13, 2009 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Milestones, Oscar | 6 Comments