Speak
It’s starting to make me crazy that Oscar won’t talk. I’ve started obsessing about it, wondering what is causing this delay. Is it solely related to having been in an orphanage? Is it just a developmental delay? Is there a genetic component? What is a developmental delay, really? What does it all mean? Does he actually understand what we’re saying, but just can’t talk? How will it impact him in the future? Is there something I could be doing (or could have done) to change this situation?
As frustrating as it is, we’ve worked out a bizarre method of communication, composed of grunts, head shakes and leaning motions. It’s oddly effective. Oscar refuses to sign (even when he knows the sign) when he wants something. Instead, if I’m not already holding him, he’ll grunt so I pick him up, and then start leaning towards whatever it is that he wants. If I tell him to use his words or sound out the word I think he needs, he just grunts again and leans harder (if you know what I mean) towards the direction he wants to go. He’ll grunt again when I get where he wants to go, and if I pass it, he’ll shake his head and do his fake cry. If I give him something he doesn’t want, he’ll throw it off his tray or just away from himself. So, at least we have a method of communication, caveman-like though it is.
What gets me is how I’ve become so desperate to think he’s trying to say a word. Yesterday he was in his highchair saying “da”, and since the dogs were in the room, I was quick to believe he was trying to say “dog.” In reality, I suspect he was just saying “da.” “Ba,” “da,” “ma” and “ga” are his big sounds (like any infant). That’s pretty much it, and as much as I would like to believe that his “ma” is referring to me, I think I have to accept that sometimes “ma” is just ma.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
Hi – This may be a case of suggesting the obvious but have you had a new born screening/hearing test done? We tested our daughter the week after she came home but for some reason waited until our son was 15 months prompted by the fact he was still grunting like a caveman. Turned out he had water in both ears and completely flatlined on his test (he did say bye bye and “seemed” to be hearing okay. We waited two months to see if it would clear and finally had tubes put in when he was 17 months old. Two days later he knew all his animal sounds – it was amazing. For what it’s worth, he had not had any ear infections and his pediatrician had not detected any ear issues. Just thought I’d through that out there – some kids are just late talkers
Joanie
Mom to Shaeleigh (5, China) and Chance (2, Vietnam)
first- remember that there is no one age children begin to speak. second- z says something that sounds like “da” when she is saying “that”. she uses it ALL day long. if she says “da”, i name the object, person, etc. and it is obvious i said what she wanted me to say (from her reaction). maybe that’s what he’s trying to get you to do? say what he can’t…identify the “thing” for him.
We had birth to three (early intervention) in for lulu. the thought was a) put our minds at ease. b) if there is a problem we are addressing it. really a “problem” is no big deal to me if i am working on it, but the uinknown makes my stomach sick.
early intervention is federally mandated and evaluations are free.
We too had early intervention with our son who had a speech delay. It is amazing how young they can start working with them in speech therapy. It might be something worth checking into.
I agree with the comments on Early Intervention. It’s not at all uncommon for children who have been adopted internationally to need some form of early intervention. The other thing that I tend to forget with Lili is that her first language “is not” English. Granted, she was only 10 1/2 month old when we brought her home and not saying many words at that point, but for the first 10 1/2 months of her life, she primarily heard Spanish and that plays a significant role in how they develop the English language.
I’m not saying that he doesn’t need help with the language – I think a mom can sense better than anyone when a child is comprehending or not and should go with her gut. That being said, both my godson and a dear friend had little boys that did not talk until they were a little over 2.5 years old. They grunted. They pointed. They nodded the head. One called everything “na na” and just changed the inflection. Then at about 2y 7 months they started picking up a few words. By 2 years and 9 months they were talking in complete, complicated sentences. Sometimes boys are just behind a little. Plus the change in the language he’s heard from Vietnamese to English. Also, I don’t know if Nanny Norma speaks English to him or another language but everyone I know who has had a child that the primary caretakers are multilingual, their speech is somewhat delayed…then when they start to speak they can switch back and forth and answer in the correct language someone is speaking to them in, which is pretty cool. All of that might be a factor.
It might be enabling him but if the two of you are really frustrated, I had a friend who snapped some pictures of thing her son wanted – juice, milk, goldfish, raisins, outside, trucks, etc and then laminated them and put them on the fridge at his level. When he wanted one of the things, he went and pointed to them. It made it easier for both of them while he was in speech therapy.