Mommy time
Now that I have spent a year devoting all my time to my precious Oscar, I think it might be time for me to take a teensy tiny bit of time off for good behavior. I just don’t know how to go about doing that without feeling guilty. Since adopting Oscar I’ve erred on the side of seting my “mommy time” at zero minutes per year – oops, sorry, I did get a massage while we were in Vietnam and hike in Bali, so it’s more like 120 minutes this past year. Either way, I’m thinking that might be too few.
My dilemma is compounded by the fact that I already feel somewhat guilty about working and not staying home with the little guy. Not that I actually have a choice, given my status as a single mother, but I’m a mom, so the guilt remains. Note that I do not feel guilty that he has a really comfortable life in a beautiful house with more food and toys than he could ever wish for (maybe not the toys, but you know what I mean). But I do realize that the most important thing is to have his mother around. Having said that, it’s become clear to me this past month, that having his mom around in a good state of mind is probably just as important.
So, moms out there. How do you strike the balance? How much mommy time is acceptable? What is a reasonable amount of time to spend away from your child for non-work reasons? I know there are no hard and fast rules, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
from my last hike.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
Hey. I found a link to your blog on the red letter campaign website. We’re praying about adoption and so I’ve been trying to learn more.
As a mom of three boys ages 4 months, 2 and 4, I’ve learned a little about the balance between time with the kids and time on my own. I find that for my own well-being, I need at least a few hours each week. I use the time I have on my own primarily to exercise – I’m training for my first triathlon so I need at least 2-3 hours a week dedicated to this. I also enjoy writing and sewing and make a little time for these each week. Here or there I’ll get my hair cut or have a manicure.
By the time each of my older boys was one, I took 1-2 nights away for a women’s retreat or a weekend away with my husband. I always return from these times so refreshed that I know it is totally good for our kids. My husband and I are looking forward to going to Europe together for about 2 weeks without the kids in 3 years…
Not a good contributor because 120 minutes a year of “mommy” time is about par for me as well. But, I usually find that just dinner, drinks and an uninterrupted conversation with two or three dear girl friends goes a LOOONNNG way to making me feel refreshed. Sadly, I only do it about once every 6-8 months. I think the non-work, adult, human interaction is even better for me than doing something alone.
Thinking about you guys tomorrow during the MRI!