Single Motherhood

I try not to complain about being a single mom.  I mean, really, it’s not like I came to be a single mother by accident.  Oops, how did that dossier get submitted?  I knew going in that it was going to be difficult – especially if I had to deal with frightening medical issues.  I failed to anticipate one key component, though.  A matter so menacing that, had I known about it before hand, I might have thought twice about taking that first leap.

Before becoming a parent, did you have any idea the amount of assembly actually required by the words “some assembly required”?  If you’re a married mom, maybe you haven’t given this much thought.  The single moms out there know what I’m talking about, though.  Especially if they have boys.  I first noticed this issue at Christmas, when I spent night after night assembling Oscar’s presents.  It was miserable enough that I have not purchased anything for him since then that I couldn’t take straight out of a box and hand to him to play.  

Sadly, he’s turning two this week, which meant that I had to go and buy him a present.  Don’t tell him, but he’s getting a big train set, complete with a train table.  So, guess what I did this weekend?  The train table alone took me almost three hours to put together.  It had over 58 parts, not including the hardware.  Sure, it would have taken less time had he not been at my side with his little screwdriver (don’t worry, he can’t tell what the table is for – he just thinks it’s a new addition for the family room – one that he can climb onto and jump off of – all while I’m thinking, please don’t stand on that, don’t you know that I put that together?  it could disintegrate any second now).  It looks great, and I’m sure it will all be worth it, but why is it so complicated?  Why do the instructions not have ANY words on them?  Why are the illustrations themselves ALWAYS inaccurate?  Why?  Is it some conspiracy?  Better get married; you’ll never figure this stuff out without some guy.

It’s really kind of pathetic.  I’m fine with the other aspects of single motherhood.  Now that I have the whole brain scan and first E.R. visit under my belt, I’m feeling like I can deal with the serious issues that might crop up.  It’s this stuff – the “guy” stuff – that concerns me.  I don’t want to be one of those girls who calls their male friends each time they need to build these things, so I won’t.  But that just means that I spend 2-3 times as long as I should working on these projects when I could be doing other things with Oscar, or barring that, sleeping.   Sorry for the rant, but I’m only midway through this project and had to let off some steam.  I have three more boxes of parts to assemble before the weekend.  Who was the genius who thought that the train set with over 100 pieces of track plus all of the buildings that have to be assembled individually was such a great move?  Oh yeah, I have no one to blame but myself.

July 20, 2009 - Posted by Oscar's mom | Birthdays, Single mothers | | 8 Comments

8 Comments »

  1. One of the best lines ever–oops how did that dossier get submitted?

    I got a simple umbrella stroller for my shower. I mean seriously simple. I had to install the wheels. Took me an hour. And I still can’t figure out how to collapse the dang thing. I’m going to try really hard to do everything myself and not just wait for when my dad comes to visit.

    Comment by sko3 | July 20, 2009 | Reply

  2. No, guys have just as hard a time. It’s just easier to do it with a partner. I don;t feel your pain, but I fear it.

    Comment by Lulu\'sMommy | July 20, 2009 | Reply

  3. Yeah, that sounds about right. I don’t buy anything with complex moving parts. If the menfolk in Duc’s life want to buy him something with “assembly required” they know that they are responsible for puttng it together. that’s why the tree swing that my neighbor gave me is still sitting on my porch while the tricycle has been in use since his b-day.

    Comment by Erica | July 20, 2009 | Reply

  4. I was thisclose to hiring someone to put together something for me — not because I couldn’t do it but because I knew it would be long and tedious. But then I didn’t want to be defeated by an inanimate (yet very large) object, so I just sucked it up.

    But you could 1)Hire someone to put things together for you. Yes, you really can, esp. in this econonmy — and probably for a lot less than what you make per hour as an attny and then you can actually spend more time with the kid. 2) Negotiate to buy already assembled floor models of stuff. I do that often, including at Kmart once when I wanted a garden cart that was already put together. When they wouldn’t sell me the display, I walked out — only to find a manager following me in the parking lot with an offer to buy it after all.

    Comment by Jennifer G | July 20, 2009 | Reply

  5. I feel your pain, but you should be proud of yourself too at being able to do this~

    Comment by Kathy | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  6. I can relate!! I once called a friend at midnight, crying, to help me finish this GD ikea bookshelf thing that weighs twice as much as I do!

    Love reading your blog. I’m also adopting through IAN…. great to meet a single mom with a sense of humor! : )

    Comment by Sara | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  7. I so feel your pain. It took me at least 4 hours to put together Aiden’s jumperoo.

    Comment by Kelli K | July 21, 2009 | Reply

  8. This is a very positive thing about being married. I get to chuckle as Christian cusses while he puts stuff together. He and I have acually joked about renting a space right next to Babies R Us and opening a baby gear/ toy assembly service. I bet it would be a booming business.

    Comment by Tracy @ My Minivan Rocks! | July 24, 2009 | Reply


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