The Birthday
Oscar’s second birthday was a huge success, even with all of the tears that ended the day. We got up fairly early and he literally squeaked when he saw his tricycle in the hallway. He ran towards it, with his hands to his mouth and kept looking up to me while he would squeak out something that sounded like “me?” We spent hours scooting the trike up and down the halls and through the bedrooms before Nanny Norma broke down and shuffled him to his room so he could open her presents. She had decorated his bedroom with streamers and a big Happy Birthday sign and a bunch of really huge balloons. It was precious. I never would have thought to do all of that. She also made him an adorable towel with his name on it and a funny little monkey face – it’s far too cute to use, so I’m keeping it displayed in his bathroom (I hope she doesn’t mind).
After taking a break from the tricycle, we opened the rest of his presents. I got him a Leap Frog Tag reader, which is this pen-like thing that you touch to the pages of special books and it says the words or describes the picture on the page. Oscar figured out, though, that if you press a certain button twice it will read an entire story to you. He’s been pressing that button a lot since Saturday. He just listens and laughs. I’m hoping the continual repetition of language will inspire him to actually speak, but I guess I’ll be ok if he simply continues to enjoy the stories.
I also got him a Thomas DVD that included a Thomas engine (BTW, this is the cheap way to get one of those trains – I was NOT paying $14 for a little engine – this was like $7 at TRU and you get the DVD). He about lost his mind when he saw it. He actually gnawed at the box to open it. I knew he liked trains, but honestly didn’t have a clue that he even knew who Thomas was (we have another DVD, but we don’t watch it much). I asked him to show me Thomas, and he pointed to the picture of Thomas on the cover of the DVD case. He has NEVER pointed to anything in a book, so I was astonished. He played for a bit and then went into the living room and gave Norma the DVD. She, of course, said, “no television, we play or read.” He had a fit and kept looking at me and it dawned on me that I had told him that for his birthday he could watch t.v. during the day (he usually watches one signing time DVD before his bath). I think the little guy actually remembered the promise, so I made good on it, but he only watched for a few minutes before pulling out the books.
We attempted to make it to soccer practice. I attempt this every week, but we haven’t made it yet. First, I couldn’t find the field, second, it’s scheduled smack dab while he takes a nap (which is a rarity, but still) and third, there is a LOT to do on Saturday mornings. I’ve been dying to become a soccer mom, though, so we’ll try it again next Saturday. Oscar napped for 3 minutes and then we had our first virtual birthday party via Skype with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Jason, Aunt Marti and his cousins. He ate birthday cake for the first time and evidently really enjoyed it.
Had I stopped there, the day probably would have been entirely successful. But, no, I pushed for more. We were supposed to meet up with some friends at the Discovery Museum. After slogging through horrendous traffic we arrived, with Oscar in tears, not wanting to sit in his stroller and not wanting to walk, while I was trying fruitlessly to find our friends (without the assistance of my cell phone, which Oscar apparently had taken from my purse and hid in Norma’s shower). Let’s just say that this was the beginning of the end.
By all accounts, though, I think it went really well. So much better than last year. First, Oscar understood this year that cake is to be eaten – not to be stuck in one’s ear. He dove in head first, licking on the frosting so heartily that chocolate was still oozing out of his nose on Sunday. That’s how you eat a cupcake. Second, he seemed to understand that Saturday was all about him. Not in a narcissistic way, but he was loving being the center of attention in a pronounced way. I’m thinking that next year we’ll take things to the next level and have a proper party. Well, a small party. Or, at least a few friends over for cake. We’ll see…
Pictures to come.
Call to Action
I suspect the majority of the fabulous people who read my blog either have adopted, are in the process of adopting or are close to people in one of these two categories. I think most of us know that back in 2000 a major piece of adoption reform legislation was passed. The Child Citizenship Act of 2000 made it possible for our internationally adopted kids to become American citizens automatically when they hit the United States (before then, they actually had to go through the naturalization process). This was a great start, but let’s face it, we can do better.
The FACE Act (the Foreign Adopted Children Equality Act) has been introduced to pick up where the Citizenship Act left off. First, the legislation would treat our adopted children the same as children who are born to US parents overseas. Instead of getting a visa, those kids get a passportto enter the US. They are considered US citizens from birth – with all of the benefits that fact conveys. The US government would still investigate to ensure that our kids are legally “orphans,” but that process would be the responsibility of the State Department. This would obviously streamline the process, since currently both USCIS and State do these investigations.
Additionally, the arbitrary requirement implemented by the State Department that distinguishes between adopted kids who come home on IR-3 (automatic citizens because both parents saw the child during the adoption process) and IR-4 (green card because there was no pre-adoption contact) visas would be eliminated. This distinction was never part of the Citizenship Act. It was enacted by the State Department to ensure that one parent could not adopt a child and bring him or her into the U.S. without the other parent’s knowledge. I won’t even begin to discuss the stupidity of that. I could spend a day, though, talking about the myriad ramifications of that distinction. It needs to go. There are other benefits of the legislation, but I fear I’ve already lost some of you, so I’ll get to the important part.
I know you’re wondering what you can do to help fix this – I know you want to make your child an equal citizen of the United States. First, consider signing this petition. Second, call your Congressional Rep and both of your Senators between Tuesday and Thursday of this week. Don’t talk with the receptionist – ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff (in all seriousness, you deserve to be heard by one of these people – not some young intern or staffer who is simply going to tally your opinion). Don’t be shy – I know you guys have opinions on this. And even if you don’t know who your Members of Congress are (as if you have time to watch the news), I’ve included links above.
What should you do if you want to help but don’t really know what to say? Personally, I’m just planning on speaking from my heart. I’m going to tell them why internationally adopted children of American citizens need automatic US citizenship and why it’s important to me. You can also ask them to be a co-sponsor of the FACE Act. The bill is S. 1359 for the Senate and HR 3110 for the House of Representatives. This isn’t an exercise in public speaking – it’s just meant to let Congress know that there are a lot of us out here who care about this issue.
I know you might think that I’m asking for assistance with this because I’m adopting from Ethiopia and my child will come home with a green card and not as a citizen. This is truly not the case – it’s highly unlikely that this legislation will help me with that issue. Baby Etta will come home on an IR-3 visa because I’m going to spend thousands of dollars visiting her before court in Ethiopia to ensure that she is an American citizen from the time our plane lands. I’m writing a somewhat political post (which you know I don’t do) because supporting this bill is the right thing to do. There should be no distinction between a child I adopt internationally and a child I give birth to on foreign soil. They’re both the children of an American citizen – why is one automatically a citizen and the other not? Give me a truly justifiable answer and you can explain it to me on our way to Ethiopia.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
