Anyone know

when exactly it was that this child . . .

five months later:

Adoption day (and thank you, Sarah, for this photo, which I think perfectly captures the beginning of the relationship between Oscar and me):

last Halloween, when he could not be within 500 feet of other kids without screaming and when his sensory issues were still so severe he could not bear to touch even grass or sand (I mean, look at how he’s holding his arms so he doesn’t have to touch the straw) and who screamed so loudly when we would go out in public that I thought I had wasted money on our zoo membership:

turned into this happy child who actually likes to be around other kids (particularly “big” boys) and smiles frequently and snorts with laughter on a daily basis?  this boy, by the way is a complete and total stranger:

Because, while it might have looked like all I posted for a considerable amount of time were pictures when I simply had not captured Oscar smiling, a non-smiling Oscar was the norm until about May of this year.  I had come to terms with the fact that Oscar was not going to be one of those “happy” children.  You know the type.  You’ve seen them at the park - they laugh and giggle freely, breaking out spontaneously in toothy grins.  Annoying, really.  Nanny Norma and I talk about it a lot now.  I hear the refrain of “Oscar different” from her at least weekly.  “Not the same boy. . . Oscar happy now.”  And it’s true.  He isn’t the same as he was; he is a totally different little boy in so many ways.  It might sound odd for a mom to say, but he used to be a little angry, constantly frustrated and quick to lash out, both physically and vocally.  More troubling to me were his eyes.  They were very pretty, but they seemed a bit closed off.  Like he wasn’t really engaged with any of us or the world generally.

I’m not sure what changed and caused him to become this sweet, adorable, smiling toddler (prone to a lot of tantrums, but seemingly the normal variety), with tons of personality radiating from him.  We have a lot of theories – time beginning to heal old wounds, increased attachment (on both of our parts), his vision improving (no proof of this other than the visible difference in his ptosis and nystagmus), the switch to soy milk, his increased ability to communicate via sign language and grunting or just the improvements in his health generally.  Who knows.  I’m just thankful that we’re where we are and not where we were, and honestly, a little frightened that we might have to go back there when Baby Etta joins us.

October 22, 2009 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | attachment, Oscar | 6 Comments