It’s time

I thought that I was going to be all zen throughout this process and not sweat the timing of my referral.  I already have a child, I kept telling myself, there’s no big rush here.  In fact, it would be better (career wise) if this adoption happened later in the year next year.

Those tactics worked for about five months after I got on the wait list.  I saw a chip in my armor on this about a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been steadily increasing in size each day.  I’m not saying that I think my wait has been too long or anything.  I actually think it’s a completely reasonable amount of time to wait (even a much longer wait is more than reasonable).  I get the significance of what I’m waiting for and what it means.  All of it.  That does not change, however, my desire to actually see my daughter’s face for the first time or my desire to actually get on the real wait list – the one for a court date.  Since, as we know in international adoptions, a referral is just the first step.  The real waiting begins then.  Just saying that my patience is not what I once thought it was.  In reality, “my patience” might not exist anymore.

November 16, 2009 - Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, referral, Waiting