Selfish Shopping

I’ll admit, the surprise court date kicked my nesting instinct into gear.  I’ve been making purchases for Etta since last summer, thanks to online clearance sales and going out of business sales (check out Ginger and Scallion, not a whole lot left, but Etta just raked it in at 50% off, free shipping and no tax, and I got a new hotsling for $25).  Seems like I really had imagined that she would be far older – like a two-year old.  Almost all of the clothes I had purchased for her were meant for an 18 month old at least.  There are some really great coats in Size 3, even.  Obviously I needed to stock up on some appropriately sized clothes.

In addition to Etta’s amazing wardrobe (really, it’s something else; she’s going to be looking great until about age 3, when I file for bankruptcy; I wish I had some of these things in my closet, honestly), I’ve been making some major purchases for Oscar.  Lots of workbooks and activity books and all kinds of educational materials geared towards increasing his cognition (we’re working on letters, colors and shapes currently) and many a toy or piece of equipment to enhance his “sensory diet” (that’s sensory processing talk).  We have a mini trampoline on our way that I really hope will be helpful (at a minimum, it might save one of the beds), as well as a weighted blanket in a super-plush fabric that I hope will be as “magical” as people say, and some musical equipment, including egg shakers and, help me, a drum.  Still working on finding some interesting objects with flashing or colored lights that are appropriate for a two-year old, so any leads would be appreciated.  I ran across this odd rubber whomping worm thing with a light that flashes when hit that’s a good start, but we need more.  Oscar is “sensory seeking”, so the thought with all of this is that if his day is filled with a variety of sensations, his life will be easier for him.  He won’t get as wound up, he won’t (literally) bounce around as much and his mind will settle a little, helping him focus a bit better.  I’m tempted to keep these all as gifts for him when Etta comes home, at least the trampoline and drum, but just don’t know. 

So, I’ve done that, but that is not the shopping that has me perplexed.  Today we made a run to Target, and I came home with new bedding.  You’re saying, “so what”, right?  Okay, I’ll explain, but first – whoever came up with the idea to have a children’s story time at Target on Saturday morning, complete with gift bags (with goldfish crackers, juice and candy!) and balloons, is a genius.  Seriously, I love you and will shop at your store many more times. 

Back to the shopping.  I walked out of the store today basically with a new bed.  From mattress pad to shams and everything in between.  But none of this was for Etta or even for Oscar, who theoretically at least will be bed-less when his sister arrives, since she’s taking the crib he’s never used.  It was for me.  Isn’t the nesting instinct supposed to be for the child you’re bringing into your family?  Not yourself?  I’ll even add that I didn’t stop at the bedding.  I added a dvd player for my room (albeit the very cheapest one), and when we got home, I went downstairs, absconded with the unused television next to my unplugged treadmill and redid my bedroom.  Since we’re believers in the Family Bed practice round here, perhaps I can tell myself that this wasn’t entirely self-interested?  That Oscar will sleep easier on the new sheets and under the really soft new comforter?  And we’ll all be happier now that I can entertain Oscar with some movies in the morning while I attempt to gain precious minutes of additional sleep?

The reality is that I think I was getting embarrassed by my bedding.  Or, the lack of bedding.  We’ve been cobbling together whatever blanket and sheets I can find a couple times a week and I really haven’t liked it.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t had “bedding” since I lived in Dallas (um, 4 years ago).  I was sort of living like a guy (in fact there was  a little hole in one of the sheets I disposed of today, I cringingly admit).  Now we have a pretty bed (well, the bed was always awesome, we now have pretty linens) and a little 26″ LCD tv in the bedroom.  See, not living like a guy anymore.  What guy would own a 26″ tv?

I’ve decided I’m going old-school with Etta’s bedding situation.  I’m re-converting the crib from a toddler bed into a crib and putting her next to my bed.  From what I can tell, the kids at our agency’s care center sleep in cribs, so as much as I love the co-sleeping for attachment purposes, I think I might be better off in the long run if I keep her in a crib.  We’ll see how that goes.  Oscar’s room apparently will officially be a playroom when we move the crib.  Extra room for toys, ugh.

Single digits tomorrow!!!

February 28, 2010 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption, attachment, Etta, Oscar, Our family, Shopping | 13 Comments