4:28 – Yes
Oops, got home too late to post last night, but Oscar came through with another sign. He’s seen this one for a very long time, but has refused to actually use it. Oscar will not answer “yes” or “no” to any question ever posed. Ever. He grunts, he yells, he arches his back. You get the picture . . . but he doesn’t actually say yes or no (or sign them).
Last night, though I did manage to get him to sign “yes” to milk [you sign yes by making a fist with your right hand and bending your wrist down and up (like you're nodding your fist)]. You know how salespeople trick you into buying things by getting you to say yes to little things they know you’ll say yes to (getting you in the habit of responding positively to them) and then hit you with the big sales push? I used this technique on Oscar last night. I knew he wanted milk. I asked him a series of questions to which the answers were all yes. I let him give me his standard grunt that means yes. He did. And then I pushed him to actually give me the sign when I asked him if he wanted milk. Success. Sadly, I think this is only going to work in extreme cases, but for the time being I’m okay with it. Baby steps.
3:28 – Mouse
When I was in college my family had this incredible dog named Sammy. He was the wildest, smartest, sweetest golden retriever ever known to man. When Sammy was a puppy, he came in contact with some tiny little mice and after that experience every time we wanted to make him insane we’d point across the room and yell “mouse.” Sammy would completely lose it, chasing after the invisible mouse. Somehow it never got old.
Oscar is not Sammy, of course, but in celebration of our upcoming trip to Disneyl*nd, I thought I’d introduce him to the term “mouse.” He has a Mickey M0use doll that has been sitting in his grocery cart for the past year or so. Every once in a while he’ll push him around the hall. “Mouse” is signed by brushing the tip of your nose twice with the tip of the index finger of your right hand. Very easy. Oscar picked this one up with no problem at all. I even captured it on tape with some success.
Today’s real reward, though, came when the little guy curled up with me, looked up at me a little shyly and signed “hug.” I love sign language.
2:28 – Fatal Flaw
It never occurred to me that there might be a problem with my 28 signs in 28 days plan. Oscar alerted me to it early today, when he point-blank refused to engage in my attempts to learn new signs. What’s the saying . . . you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it float on its back?
I tried to teach him ”tickle”, which he thought was funny, but wanted none of, and then I thought we’d ease on over to “grandpa.” Now, this should not have been difficult. He knows the sign for “grandma,” which he uses all the time. He also has seen the sign for “grandpa” a number of times. I know he knows how to do this sign. So, I’m trying it over and over, Nanny Norma starts in too, all to no avail.
It becomes clear Oscar wants nothing to do with this today. We tried a number of times and he wasn’t having any of it. Eventually he started a hybrid “grandma” / “grandpa” sign, which appeared to have been borne out of sheer laziness or stubbornness, and I’m certain it was done in disdain. “Grandma” is signed by touching the thumb of your hand to your chin and moving it out in two arch-shaped motions. “Grandpa” is similar, but you touch your thumb to your forehead before moving your hand out in the same two arches. Oscar has decided that if we’re going to press this, he’s going to meet us in the middle. No more signing “grandma” properly. Now, when we say sign “grandma” or “grandpa”, he’s decided that he’ll do the arching gesture, but he’ll do it in the middle of his face – not where his hand should be for either sign – but right in the middle. Why bother with two signs when one sign in the middle gets the point across just as well? I swear, if he knew how to roll his eyes, he would have while he threw his “grandparent” sign at us.
I now see the error in my ways. The 365 projects most bloggers engage in are within their control. Sure, their pictures may suck some days (none of yours, nach), but no one can keep them from their objective, unless someone breaks their camera. My error was in not taking into consideration that my project is entirely dependent on Oscar’s willingness to learn what I’m trying to teach him. Sometimes that is an uphill battle.
The Second Happiest Place on Earth
I’ve been trying and trying to accomplish two travel-related goals prior to going to bring Etta home (which will only happen if I get a referral, I know, but these goals have seemed very important and somewhat urgent recently). 1 – find a way to get one paltry little day off work so I can go to Oklahoma to visit friends and family and 2 – find a way to take Oscar to Disneyl*nd for our Family Day without breaking the bank (i.e. I’m not paying anywhere near $500 just to fly to Orange County. I mean, seriously?).
I’ve had no luck with goal #1. I’ve waged an assault for the last two weeks to obtain a day off. Today’s request was to take President’s Day “off” (our office is closed but we are supposed to work). No luck. Apparently I need to be here in case mayhem breaks out once again. After hearing that “something” might be happening with respect to a matter(again), I received an email touting a tantalizing fare from San Francisco to So Cal.
I don’t know about you, but every single time I get one of those emails, the “special fare” is never available. Never. Here, it was only good for two days in the next three months, which ended up miraculously being weekend days, and we got the last two seats. This never happens to me. I’ve been pricing these tickets for a while, and I paid less than half of what I had been expecting! Yay – I might even be able to afford a pair of those mouse ears – not personalized, mind you.
Yes, I know it’s silly to take a 2 1/2 year old to Disneyl*nd. Especially one who doesn’t even know who Mickey is (I know – I have been horribly remiss in my parenting duties in this respect, too), but he does know what the castle and fireworks are (thanks to Meet the Robinsons - still his favorite film), so I think he’s going to be totally thrilled. Especially if I can find a hotel with a heated pool.
We’re going to Disneyl*nd!!!
1:28 – Hug Me
Turns out one really needs a video camera to capture signs. Who knew? Taking the lead from a couple of you, tonight’s word was “hug”, which I tried to turn into “hug me”, but Oscar refused to go there. He did, however, latch onto “hug” within two seconds, which led to a very enjoyable hour in which it seemed like hugging was apparently something he had wanted to do a lot of. We’re pretty touchy feely around here, so I’m hopeful that he hasn’t been feeling like I’ve been a little chintzy on the hugs. I think tomorrow’s word will be “tickle.”
A cross section of hug (which you do by simply crossing your arms in front of your chest). And, just to share, behind Oscar was my weekend’s project. An attempt to organize the three million toys that have invaded Oscar’s room. I’m quite proud of it – it was in a million pieces, which I put together all by myself. I even decorated the his and her globes – little rhinestones for each city Oscar and Etta have visited or lived in (I just marked Addis for Etta for now). I’m hoping theirs will be as encrusted with little jewels as my bigger globe is in my office.
Project 28
Since I’m incapable of doing a 365 project (really, I am), I’ve decided to embark on a 28 day project instead. Each day this month, Oscar, Nanny Norma and I are going to learn a new sign.
Why sign more? I’m coming to terms with the reality that Oscar is not going to suddenly burst forth speaking in sentences. I’m not coming to terms with the possibility that Oscar is not going to speak eventually, but I do want to figure out a way to bridge the gap between now and the time he can communicate verbally. I’m also looking into formal programs to help the entire family out in terms of learning ASL or even having a tutor come to the house. It’s just clear to me that we need a method of communication that is more effective than the hodge-podge of grunts, signs and words that we have in our shared vocabulary.
Right now, Oscar can sign* and/or speak^ the following (off the top of my head, I’m sure I’m missing a few):
Mom^, OMa (Norma)^, Grandma*, Sister^*, Boy*, Girl*, Hat*, Milk*, Ice cream*, Baby*, Signing*, Cookie^*, Cracker*, Cake^, Cereal*, Banana*, Bread*, Egg^, Fish*, Candy*, Cheese*, Tea^, Please*, Thank you*, Sorry*, Ball^*, Play*, Bath*, Car^*, Bus*, Shoes*, Star*, Socks*, Sleep*, Eat*, Drink*, Thirsty*, Hungry*, Monkey* (three words in one – means he wants to walk with his monkey backpack, eat gummy candies (shaped like monkeys) or monkey), Bear*, Dog*, Cat*, Help^*, Hot^*, Cold*, Go^*, More^*, Up^, Down*, Hurt*, Wow^ (my favorite – two syllables), Oh no^ and Uh oh^.
Here’s what I have on our list for this month. And I feel I should note the lack of vegetables in Oscar’s vocabulary – it’s not that he doesn’t eat them; it’s just that we don’t speak of them. Kind of like Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter.
Grandpa, Chicken, Soup, Pasta, Yogurt, Swim, Paint, Potty, Walk, Bike, Clean, Talk, TV, Happy, Sad, Soup, Pants, Shirt, Dressed, Read, Yes, No (he uses no, but only when he’s really upset; I would like him to use it as an answer to a question).
Any suggestions? You families who communicate – what words do your toddlers most frequently use?
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
