A conversation with my not so color blind eye doctor

I went to my eye doctor today to get my new contact lenses checked.  As she was peering into my eyes we got onto the topic of children.  I mentioned I was about to have my second, which of course led to the usual confused glance at my stomach (which thankfully does not look like it contains a baby bump) and my explanation of Etta’s impending arrival.  When informed where Etta currently resides, her brilliant response? 

“Oh, so she’ll be one of those dark-skinned babies, then.” 

Huh?  I should have put that in quotes, since I, in fact, said “huh?”

“Well, yes, if she’s from Ethiopia, she’ll be dark-skinned, of course, but that’s ok.” 

“Oh,” I said.  I’m articulate like that.

“Well, sure, it will be quite a contrast with your blonde hair.”

“I guess so.  I didn’t think of her as an accessory, but I suppose it should make for interesting family portraits, since my son was born in Vietnam.”  Just to see where she’d take things.

“Hmm, that is very odd, isn’t it?  Do you think they’ll be able to like each other, given their cultural differences?  You know, you’re very lucky to live in this area of the country.  In some areas people wouldn’t be as understanding.”

“Understanding of what?  The fact that members of my family have different skin tones?” . . . refusing to touch the innate cultural differences issue (since we all know how loaded Vietnamese – Ethiopian relations can be, jeez).

“Yes, it can be very confusing.  Just the other day I was at my son’s soccer game and I was talking to a very nice Hispanic man who was pointing to a boy on the field, and he seemed to indicate that he was his son, but this boy was very white.  It just gets very confusing to know who belongs with who.”

“Right, maybe we could dress alike to make it easier on everyone.”

“That could be helpful, but it might be better if you’re just very clear that your children are adopted.”

“Well, my children were adopted, but that happened in the past, and it’s not a distinction I would want to make in any event.  They’re just my kids.”

“See,” nervous laugh here, “it’s just all so confusing.”

Stupid people make me sad.

April 13, 2010 Posted by Oscar and Etta's mom | Adoption | 25 Comments