Time Flies
Can you believe it’s already been a month since Etta and I met? We’re slowly, but surely getting ourselves into a routine around here. Oscar no longer loses his cool each time his sister wakes up in the night (which thankfully is not often), and despite the fact that her chest rattle is still pronounced, he appears to ignore it now. It’s become similar to the noise of the cars passing by the house, I guess. I notice it more than he does, actually, especially when I listen to the two of them right after they fall asleep each night. I’m not sure who is louder, Oscar with his snoring or Etta with her raspy breathing. Together, in stereo, they have moved me to use my headphones when I watch television on my laptop at night, just to tune them out a little.
I broke down this weekend and admitted that I was going to have to make some adjustments if we were ever going to leave the house again. I’ve managed to figure out how to get us into the car easily, and car rides have been our outing of choice the past two weekends. Both kids seem to love them, and it’s a sure-fire way of getting them to nap. I’ve also figured out how to get us through a shopping trip at Targ3t. Sadly, though, if we are to do anything other than drive to and from Targ3t on the weekend, changes need to be made.
First, I bought a new child carrier. I managed to wreck my back the other day by lifting a tiny little book. That’s how old I am. Wearing Etta in her sling is no longer an option, so I got one of those ergonomic carriers, but without all that extra padding, etc. Not too hideous, I think.
I also bit the bullet and bought a double stroller. Given our car situation, obviously, any double stroller will be used solely at home (parks, etc.). Hence the need for the more usable baby carrier – I can carry Etta and push Oscar if I’m ever brave enough to head to the zoo – I’m psyching myself up for that this coming weekend). Since we’re about to move to a neighborhood that is far more stroller-friendly, though, I figured I’d try to help Norma’s knee by getting a stroller so she doesn’t have to wear anyone.
I’ve clearly been avoiding making this purchase. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe it’s because double strollers are so incredibly expensive. Maybe it’s the fact I worry that Oscar is not going to let me push him in a stroller much longer. Maybe it’s because there’s some negative link in my brain to owning one (although I’m not sure what it could be other than their ugliness). Whatever the reason, I am the proud new owner of this:
It very well may be the largest stroller ever made, but for whatever reason, it’s the only double stroller that I like (and since this is last year’s color, I’m saving 34%, and you know I love a sale). I’m just hoping that Nanny Norma is big enough to see over it while pushing. The picture above really doesn’t give you the sense of just how big this thing is. You know you’re in trouble when the manufacturer posts a picture with a notation in bold that this product “fits through standard doors.”
Thinking through all of this, it occurs to me that one of the reasons I’ve held off on this purchase is that pushing a double stroller really announces to the world that I am a Mom. I know, I know. I’ve been a mom for a couple of years now, but having a second child pushed me into a new level of motherhood.
Being the mom of one child was really pretty easy. We were highly portable. Our equipment was minimal. We threw our tiny little Quinny stroller into our tiny little Mini and were on our way. If people saw us, they’d see a woman with a small child out and about. Now, there is nothing easy or portable about us. When people see us, they see a harried woman with two small children, one draped on her and the other either screaming on the ground or in a cart or stroller. Pushing the gargantuan monstrosity that is this particular stroller (weighing ~80 pounds all in with both kids sitting in it), I am far more visible than I had been before. I am also no longer a woman with a child. I’ve become a mom with two young kids. Somehow when my children outnumbered me, I lost my status as just a woman and became a mom instead.
When we’re out, I no longer get little smiles from other moms or remarks about Oscar’s cuteness. I get comments like “you’ve really got your arms full.” I get offers of assistance. Pitying glances. Acknowledgements that I do not appear to be capable of handling things on my own. Somehow this stroller makes all of that even more real. Buying it made me worry that the next step in my evolution as a mom will be to purchase a station wagon (a Volvo cross country, naturally; likely in navy). See, I’ve already taken the first step mentally.
When I was planning on having a second child, none of this really occurred to me. Clearly, I thought about the fact that life would be more difficult. That it would be much more challenging to simply get out the door. I never thought about the way people would see me, though. Or, more accurately, the way I would respond to the way people appear to view me. Actually, maybe what is challenging is not the way other people see me, but the way I see myself? I’ll have to think about that a little. Is this why people say that moving from one to two children was far more difficult than simply becoming a mom?
All About Oscar
I feel like I’ve been giving the little guy less than his share of blog space lately, but he’s had tons going on. First, he’s growing like a weed. Again. He must be close to 38 inches tall by now. He’s gaining some weight as well, but we simply cannot keep enough food in him to get to a point where I can’t feel his ribs. Having a sister has helped a little, since every time she eats, he wants to eat, too, including her baby food. We’re not picky, though, if it has some nutritional value (even if it is a mcn*gget) and he’ll eat it, it goes in his mouth.
He’s also made two really sweet friends. I have mentioned them before, but he’s become acquainted with a pair of three-year old twins from his music class. They have playdates at least 3-4 times a week. One of them is very verbal, which I think is great for Oscar. He’s also been able to help them out on the potty training front, since he’s a bit more advanced there. I actually considered not moving because he had made friends, but I nipped those fears in the bud. He’s two. He has not made a lasting friendship yet. Plus, the woman next door to the house we leased has a three-year old, so maybe they’ll be friends.
More importantly, Oscar has made some significant strides developmentally. His ability to mimic has really taken off. He repeated the alphabet for me yesterday. The entire thing. He repeats words constantly, even difficult ones like popsicle and triangle and his pronunciation is very good. His receptive language abilities have improved greatly, too. He clearly understands what things are now, and he’s far more inquisitive. He doesn’t say “what” yet, but he will point and use one of his Oscar phrases (unh, unh, unh) to get his point across and we’ll explain what something is or what it does. His spontaneous speech is still limited to those things he wants the most – Mom, go, car, bye-bye (insert name), night night, candy, help, up, oh no, Elmo and cookie.
Even cooler? Oscar will follow directions now. I had assumed that this would never occur. That he would forever ignore me, but now I ask him to do something, and he does it. He’ll take something to Norma in another room, he’ll help me put away his toys, he’ll even follow certain two-step directions. It’s astonishing. He understands what I’m saying. That was not happening before.
A few months ago friends and Oscar’s therapists started telling me to prepare myself for him to fall behind his peers even more than he was already. They explained that there is a huge developmental spurt that occurs before the third birthday and he was not likely to experience it. I had taken their advice to heart, but I’m thinking that this has to be what is going on now. The difference between where he is now and where he was even a few weeks ago, before I went to ET, is astounding. I’m trying to maximize it by labelling everything we see, reading more books and just talking with him as much as possible to see if this will boost his vocabulary even more.
We also saw a new SLP for an evaluation a few days after I got back from ET (you know, since I wasn’t doing anything). Her assessment is that he does not have apraxia, but that his delays are cognitive based instead. There’s both good and bad in that, so I don’t know how to take that news just yet.
All in all? Really good stuff happening for the little guy.
Mi casa es
de otre persona casa? What do you say when your house is someone else’s house? Anyway . . .
We’re moving! I found a super cute little house and I was able to talk my way to the top of the long list of prospective tenants (without even throwing down extra cash). Turns out the owner was “quite charmed” by me. Go figure. We’ll be moving in sometime before July, but I started my packing on Sunday.
First order of business is to jettison my excess baggage. I’ve been moving the same things across the country, from house to house, for years now. I need to pare things back. I’ve already hit my book collection. I have hundreds, if not thousands, of books. I am not going to move them again. . . even my law school books. I should probably say, especially my law school books. Salvation Army has already received a call from me to bring a truck so I can offload a ton (I hope, literally) of stuff. The goal is to fill my garage with unwanted objects. I’ve made a very good start.
The house we’re moving into is much smaller than where we are now. It’s about 2200 square feet, which honestly should be more than sufficient for two adults and two very small children. Somehow I have it in my mind that it’s actually more of a cottage than a house, but I suspect that it is, in fact, larger than any of the houses I lived in growing up. It’s just that I have so much crap I feel like I need extra space. I think it’s better to get rid of the crap and live in a smaller house than a huge crap-filled house.
Our little casita is in a flat area within a mile of the library and a great park, with a market just two blocks (score for Nanny Norma, it’s a Latin American grocery store). There’s a great patio area right outside the living and dining rooms, so we can open both sets of sliding doors on either side of the fireplace and let the kids come and go. We can do that because it is not in a foggy area, it’s located in a much sunnier area inland. Where? GET THIS – eight minutes away from my office. That’s right. I just gained over an hour a day with my children. And I didn’t have to move near se* offenders to do it!
I know moving is stressful and I hate to think of adding anything else to our collective plates right now, but I think the benefits (extra time and money, since this house is 30% less than what we’re paying right now) will make it worthwhile. Even getting Oscar to his doctors’ appointments will be easier, since they’ll no longer require me to take half a day off work. I might even be able to stop home for lunch periodically.
So, here it is, our new abode:
Please vote for Katie
A friend’s sweet little girl is entered in a photo contest for Parents magazing, please vote for Katie here. She has to be adorable – she’s from Oscar’s orphanage.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
