In one week
I will either be ripping out my hair, wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into, or I will have survived a trans-Pacific trip with two children, somewhat optimistic about our vacation in Thailand. We leave on our first flight (to Seoul) Wednesday afternoon and if we make it through that first leg, will pick up on our connecting flight to Bangkok two hours after we land in Korea, arriving in Bangkok really late on the 16th, just in time to hit our hotel and (hopefully) sleep.
As a traveller, I have totally changed since becoming a mom. I used to not give my trips a second thought. I used to spend my time researching my destinations and figuring out which awesome resorts I’d visit, but that was it. I never worried about anything. Well, if I travelled with someone I would worry about whether they were going to have a good time, which was a huge stresser, so I eliminated that by choosing to travel solo most of the time (one of the best decisions ever, honestly).Â
I never worried about getting to / through the airport – seriously, how could this be an issue? You want to know how? Well, I travel with one suitcase and a purse, but I’m guessing I’ll need to take stuff for the kids for our 17 night stay in a foreign land. And then I’ll need to carry some stuff onto the flight in order to feed my kids and change diapers, etc. This will result in my needing to get a car service to the airport (since my Mini is not going to be able to cope with the luggage). We’ll take one huge suitcase and another smaller bag (for formula and baby stuff), along with Oscar’s small suitcase (full of nonsense for the flight), my huge diaper bag, possibly Oscar’s backpack and of course the stroller. This means that there will be moments in our trip when I am wearing Etta, pushing Oscar (who will have to carry his Mickey Mouse suitcase), wearing a backpack, carrying a diaper bag and pulling the mega suitcase, which might be dragging the smaller suitcase. We did this on the way back from Oklahoma, but without the small suitcase and the Mickey carry-on. It was tolerable, but not really the easiest thing ever. With the extra stuff? I just hope those luggage carts are easy to find in the airports (since in addition to our flights there and back, we’re flying from Bangkok to Phuket, Phuket to Chiang Mai and Chiang Mai to Bangkok for our return).
I never worried about how I was going to survive a flight – easy – Ambien, personal video and my book reader. Obviously, Ambien and personal entertainment are not options here.Â
I never considered whether I would drug a child in order for me to survive a flight – obviously, that idea is certainly under consideration right about now. Especially since our first flight does not include a bassinet for Miss Etta.
I never thought about using the bathroom on a flight – frankly, I just avoid this as much as possible. With a toilet-trained toddler? Not an option. I had thought that I’d be able to get Oscar to use a diaper on our last flight, but instead he just screamed “pee pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” over and over. I don’t know how I’m going to get the three of us into an airplane toilet.
I never even considered the possibility of not being able to obtain a visa – I rarely needed one and even if I did, it was granted almost without thought. Apparently that response is not automatically generated for infant children of Ethiopian birth. Thankfully, Etta’s visa was finally granted today after much back and forth with the Consulate.
I never thought about sleeping at a hotel – but given Etta’s behavior last week in a strange crib (pack and play, actually), this is now a consideration. I limited the number of hotels we’re visiting, but there is some variety. We’ll see how both of the kids roll, I guess.
I never worried about personal safety – who was going to mess with me? Perhaps a bit reckless in South Africa or certain parts of Russia, but whatever. I’m not worried about this in Thailand, but obviously I have to think about it. Especially because so many people ask “is it safe there”? I’m betting it’s safer than most cities around here.
I never worried about water/food safety – bottled water and room service/awesome restaurants always did the trick. How likely was it that I’d swallow water in the shower? Not likely for me, but Oscar? I’m less worried about the safety issue than I am the question of what Oscar is going to eat while we’re there. I’ve chosen resorts that have a lot of dining options, including western food, but unless they whip up an amazing mac and cheese, I suspect he’s going to be touchy here. Most of the hotels have ice cream/pastry shops, so at least I’ll be able to get some of that into him. I don’t think there’s much of a chance that I’ll find soy milk for him, though, so perhaps my little guy will finally be off his night-time bottle by the end of this trip?
I never even considered how I’d fill a day if there were inclement weather during my trip – so many options, including sleep and reading and indoor activities. Planning this trip, I learned a lot about family friendly hotels. Each of the resorts fortunate enough to have our business has a kids club. While my kids are too young to go there solo (as if they’d allow this anyway), we’ll have somewhere to go play each day, even if it’s rainy.
I never worried how I was going to fill a day with excursions that were safe – I just went and did whatever I wanted. I didn’t need to consider (a) how I was going to swim with two kids (neither of whom actually know how to swim) at once, (b) whether riding elephants would be scary to a toddler and infant (and whether the elephant people would allow three of us to ride together) or (c) whether rafting down a river (with elephants in the water near us) with the same toddler and infant was a ridiculous idea. The answers? (a) floaties and little rafts, with backup from (swimming) babysitters, (b) maybe, but we’re doing it anyway and (c) most likely, jury is out as to whether we’ll be rafting; more likely we’ll avoid the raft and plant rice instead.
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After all of this, I can see why people don’t travel with kids. I’m sort of worn out even before I’ve started packing.  I’m currently resolved to not let myself fall into this category of parents, but this trip will be a bit of a litmus test. Oddly enough, even with all of the pre-travel issues and concerns, I’m really looking forward to the trip itself (if not the journey). We’ll see whether this is warranted, I guess.
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Can’t wait to hear all about it!!!
Awesome. I hope to do the same sometime in the near future- and your journey to Thailand is bring back many fond memories of the country. Have fun! I can’t wait to do the same in the near future! (With a possibility of 3 kids- yikes!)
Erin eecarson.wordpress.com
You should think about calling / emailing ahead to the hotel and asking how much a full-time (all day) babysitter would cost. Somebody to basically follow you around the whole time and help carry crap, etc. I’ll bet it’s a lot cheaper than you would think. It would be like having a butler. And many airports (LAX for example) have a service where somebody meets you at your car and basically escorts you all the way through security, to your gate, etc. Again — carries all of that crap for you. It might be something to try to track down (any good travel agent should know about that). Thailand is great though – I’m sure you’ll love it and so will the kids.
Love it. I’m checking on the babysitter now (at least for the first few days at our resort in Phuket where we’ll be swimming constantly). So long as I have someone backing me up in the pool, I’ll feel safer. Thanks for the idea!
SFO does not have meet and assist, unfortunately, but I am looking into it at least for our arrival and departure in BKK. Somehow I scored this when Oscar and I left Hanoi and it forever spoiled me. I didn’t know that it was a special service at the time, though. I just thought the airline looked at us and wanted to get the frazzled new mom and screaming kid away from the normal passengers as quickly as possible.
Wow, that IS a lot to think about. I already started planning our 3 week India trip last year & it’s not going to be until Dec. 2011, so I’m glad to hear all your thoughts. Jan
pack what you think you will need, then go back and take 1/3 of it out. i am sure they do laundry there, take less clothes! i would bring a couple of the instant mac and cheese and ramen noodle packages, they also make soy milk boxes that don’t need to be chilled. That should get Oscar through the first few days.
i look forward to reading about your trip, we will be going to china in dec. and any tips you can give would be awesome.
have a wonderful trip!
Thanks! I have to see if you can get mac & cheese that just needs to have boiled water added to it. No kitchens in our hotels. I also wish Oscar would drink the soy milk in the shelf-stable boxes. I tried this with him on a previous trip and it was a no go. I think he’ll be a bit more flexible this trip (I type optimistically).
What kind does he like? We found soy milk in VN when we were there, so maybe Thailand has some too.
Jan
He’s become a bit of a connoisseur and only likes Silk (I’m mean and make him drink the original instead of the ones with tons of sugar). I’m hoping they’ll have it there. If not, we’ll go back to whole milk. I’m pretty sure he’s worked through most of his lactose issues . . . or so I hope.
Can I recommend you visit the Elephant Nature Park near Chiang Mai? You can help feed elephants, watch them in the water, etc. But no riding. Riding elephants in Thailand is a terrible business that has historically involved a lot of cruelty to the animals. I wish guide books would write about this. The Elephant Nature Park can tell you all about it. I think the kids would have a lot of fun at the park with the elephants anyway. More fun than riding them and watching a mahoot slam a metal hook into his forehead.
Have a great trip. Sorry this is the first time I’ve even commented and it’s on something so random. I lived in Thailand for a year after the tsunami so it’s close to my heart. Amanda
Hi, if I were doing this trip solo, I would be visiting the ENP. Since Oscar’s first (and only) sentence so far in his life is “mommys ride elee-phants”, we’ll be riding one at an alleged conservation that claims not to engage in the training crush or use hooks and actually does not have a circus-like show where elephants kick soccer balls, etc. I have struggled with this one since deciding to go to Thailand, but am still coming out on the side of riding. I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised at my decision, since I engage in animal cruelty on a daily basis, with my carnivorous diet. I’ve even ridden horses, and the act of breaking a horse seems pretty cruel as well.
Have you considered that Etta’s behavior at your parent’s home is about attachment and worries about abandonment? Travelling to a foreign country is mostly frowned upon on many good attachment and adoption books.
Thanks, Jen. Sadly, I’m pretty familiar with attachment issues. Given her age and behavior, I’m relatively certain that what Etta is going through right now (or went through for the first few days of our trip to my parents (whom she had met once the weekend she arrived in the US)) is plain and simple separation anxiety. She wants no one other than her mom for the time being, which is fine with me. I talked this trip through with our social worker (who is also an attachment therapist) many times before booking, and she’s very supportive of it.
Looks like you’ve done your homework!!! It will be an adventure! For me travel with kids was VERY different but still good. Bring one of the fisher price kid cameras for Oscar. It really kept my kids occupied when I gave them a “task” to take pictures. It might work for you. I scaled back though on the international travel when they were younger as my older daughter was often sick and I used it for a motivator to get the younger one OUT of a stroller! They are older now- 10 and 13 and travel is so enjoyable with them. I just make sure we have a few days AT HOME after the trip where nothing is planned or scheduled to catch up on sleep etc. ENJOY………
Thanks! I had not thought of the camera, but that’s a fabulous idea. Oscar loves my camera, this might be a good diversion for him. I hear you on the time at home after the vacation (which will be my real vacation, with Nanny Norma watching the kids). I would not be doing a trip like this without a lot of time at home after our so called vacation.