Our Multipurpose Celebration
So much for my posting while we were away. Turns out that Disneyland with two toddlers and two grandparents in tow was more eventful than anticipated. I barely even managed to snap a dozen pictures.
We ran off last week for a whirlwind tour of the happiest place on earth. Grandma and Grandpa came out from the frozen tundra of Oklahoma, somehow managing to quickly get rescheduled onto a flight when their first attempt to get here was derailed by the blizzard. Literally minutes after they arrived at the house, we jumped into a minivan and started our seven hour drive to Anaheim. The kids were amazing, especially Oscar. Etta had a tougher time, since she’s not a big fan of television, so we couldn’t entertain her with Olivia or other cartoons. When we got to the hotel, Etta was ready for bed, but Oscar kept screaming that he wanted to go to “house!” Took me forever to realize that he was demanding to go to Mickey Mouse’s house, which is how we had described going to Disneyland.
Both Oscar and Etta loved their weekend getaway. Etta is a bit young for many of the rides, of course, but did she ever love Small World. Actually, I think that was both of the kids’ favorite ride in the park. Oscar expanded his horizon this year and added Mark Twain’s big boat ride to his list of favorites, as well as Nemo’s submarine (shocking, since he seemed to hate it when we were on it, but raved about it to a little boy we met at dinner). His go to rides from last year, the rocket ship and Dumbo, are still up there with Small World. His Disney experience, though, was far, far different this year from last year.
I don’t think I’ll ever really understand how Oscar used to experience the world. He obviously can’t explain it, but now that he can actually see and has the words to express a bit of what he’s seeing, it’s becoming clear that his life is significantly different than it was a year ago. Even if I hadn’t been able to see how engaged he was, the sheer number of times he said “wow, look at THAT” would have tipped me off.
I’ll spare you the images of a terrified Etta looking in horror at what, to her, must have appeared to be two gigantic rats and massive squirrels attempting to grab her and show you Etta being silly.
We had a fabulous trip to Mickey Mouse’s house, where we were able to celebrate Papa and Grandma’s 45th wedding anniversary, almost three full years of my being a mom, Oscar surviving my parenting for that long and something so important it deserves its own post, so you’ll have to wait for it. I only wish we had been able to stay another day.
The vacation
I am itching to go on a vacation. Not right now, but probably by sometime in the spring. B.O. (before Oscar), I would go on one or two vacations a year, usually altering between the beach and anywhere else. My last official vacation was last Thanksgiving, when I went to New Zealand. Of course, Oscar and I did spend some time in Bali while we were waiting for his visa. Sadly, though, that part of the trip was anything but a vacation, in that I was obsessed with coming back to the States.
There are three primary contenders, with a whole list of other places I’d like to visit, but am unsure whether it’s the right time to go (either because I’ll be traveling with a toddler (like a safari or hiking in Patagonia) or because of geo-political reasons). The wrinkle is that I’ve already traveled to most places I’d like to see, with the exception of some really remote areas, which of course fall into the don’t think I want to take Oscar yet category.
Vietnam – obviously, I just returned from there six months ago. I really would like to return, though, and see Sapa, Halong Bay (how I didn’t do this while I was in Hanoi for over three weeks is beyond me) and Nha Trang. While there, I would want to do a side trip to Cambodia to see Angkor Wat. Upside – it’s Oscar’s birth country and the people are amazing – oh, and cheap hotels. Downside – 20+ hours on the plane each way.
Paris – I haven’t been back in ten years and would love to return. Just wandering the streets would be fun. Upside – free air with miles, museums, Disney Paris, croissants and only (!) 10′ish hours each way in the air. Downside – obscenely expensive hotels.
Turkey – this is in the quasi-questionable category, given safety issues. I’ve wanted to visit Istanbul for a long time now, and Turkey has amazing antiquities.
Hawaii or Cabo – just returned from a long weekend on Lanai and I’ve been to both places multiple times (I’m old and I live on the west coast). Other downsides – the sun – Oscar’s skin doesn’t love it and I’m pale and prone to freckles. Upsides – playing in the ocean and in the sand are obvious winners and very short flights.
Australia – never been, but have always wanted to visit. Self-evident downside – flights. Upsides – people with super cool accents.
Something strange
is afoot. Oscar has spent the past two days jabbering away and even pointing. He’s like a different child. I mean, it’s not like he’s actually saying any words (at least not in a language I recognize), but it’s clear to me that he’s trying to say something. He’s even mimicking me to an extent. He’s gone from being practically mute for a little over two months to being as vocal as the other little kids I’ve been around. Have any of you with internationally adopted kids gone through a “quiet period” with your kid(s)? I’m terrified that this newfound attempt at communication is going to be a phase. It’s not a phase, right? It’s my greatest hope that I’m going to look back at this quiet period longingly and fondly remember the peace and quiet.
Multiculturalism
What does being a multicultural family mean to me? Next year we get to celebrate the new year THREE different times. The plain vanilla January 1, Tet (for Vietnam) and Enkutatash (for Ethiopia). How cool is that?
Trepidation
I find myself at a bit of a crossroads. I’m almost finished with my dossier for Ethiopia. When I submit this to my agency (sans homestudy, which I’ve already discussed how that is holding me back – today’s news was that they also want a urine sample – this after I’ve had every blood test imaginable done and the most thorough physical of my life), I’ll pay the first big agency fee. I think we’ve seen how I’m not so thrifty, but writing the agency and international fee checks are a big deal to me. What concerns me is that for a long time there have been rumors about how the rules might be changing there vis-a-vis singles. Nothing official has been announced, and some agencies scoff at the rumors. However, I’ve just adopted from VN, where hundreds of PAPs are out thousands of dollars because of the shutdown.
Here’s the thing. Adoption agencies provide a service; they don’t provide a guarantee of a child. I know that; I appreciate it; I agree with the statement. Adoption is not the same as buying a commodity and my case manager is not a saleswoman. The agency is simply helping me through the process. But I must say that I’m feeling not a little trepidation here. Part of this is simply what just happened in Vietnam (VN closed its doors to adoptions by Americans leaving hundreds of people without children after paying thousands of dollars). Before last fall I figured the chance that someone might be in a position like that was almost nil. Not exactly the case.
So, I’m going to finish up my dossier and wait on my homestudy, hoping that in the next week (I hope) that it takes my agency to finalize the document that there aren’t any rule changes. Am I walking into a nightmare here?
One mother’s story
If you’ve read my entries about my trip to Vietnam to adopt Oscar and to wait for his visa and found it at all interesting, you might want to hop over to There’s Always Room For One More for the story of Denise and Emma. Denise adopted her little girl, Emma, during the rash of NOIDs in Vietnam last fall and has a fascinating story to tell. I understand that this might be dense reading for those of you who have little or no familiarity with the adoption process in Vietnam over the past year, but I think it makes for a compelling read nonetheless.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
