Disneyland with Sensory Processing Disorder
Any trip to Disneyland is a tiny bit daunting, but if you have a child whose needs are, say, “special,” a trip can be overwhelming. Worries abound – is it going to be overwhelming for him? Is he going to be able to enjoy any of it? Am I going to be able to enjoy any of it? What if he has a meltdown / starts raging? What about your other kids? Will we even be able to do anything they’re interested in? Are we going to end up spending most of our time in the room recuperating from all of the excitement / stimulation? If so, is this a colossal waste of money? Is it even worth it?
If you have a child with special needs like sensory processing disorder or autism, these thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg.
Obviously, I cannot answer these questions for you, but I can give you a tip that you might not be aware of that could actually transform this vacation from something you endure to something you all enjoy. It’s called the Guest Assistance Card, and (as Grandma pointed out at one point in our trip) it’s worth its weight in gold.
What is it? It’s a card you carry with you throughout your stay at Disneyland that alerts cast members to the fact that your group needs special assistance. Depending on your needs you’ll be asked to wait in a different line from the main line or be asked to stand in a designated spot while you wait. It’s tailored to the need of the guest who, for whatever reason, cannot or should not wait in the main line.
What isn’t it? A pass that lets you cut through all lines or go to the head of the line. This is super important for everyone to note – especially those people who are NOT carrying one (and may get angry that others appear to be getting preferential treatment) and any parents who might think that this pass is going to turn Disneyland into their own private theme park. That’s not the point here, folks.
How do you get one? Go to City Hall on Main Street and explain why you need one. You don’t need any medical papers explaining your special need, but you do need to be able to describe why you need assistance, including what would/could happen if your child were to stand in the regular line. After hearing our explanation, the woman at the desk told me that’s exactly why they have this process and stamped our card.
How do you use it? This varies by ride, but usually you go to the entry where there is a wheelchair symbol. If there is Fastpass, you just use the Fastpass system (get the ticket and come back at the designated time). If you have questions, just ask the cast member at the attraction; they’re super nice.
Why use this? Obviously the answer to this varies depending on your need. I was alerted to this system by a friend, and while I thought about using it, I kind of talked myself out of it until Oscar’s doctors, therapists and psychiatrist told me I was insane (okay, maybe the shrink said she “would strongly encourage” me to rethink my plan). For a kid with SPD, standing in a line at Disneyland, with hundreds of people crowding and pushing and the noise of the rides and all of the people, it can feel like the masses are about to literally crush you.
Last year, not using this card, we rode maybe two or three rides, returned to the hotel for 5-6 hours to rest and then went back to the park for a couple more rides in the evening. After a good night’s rest, we repeated the process on day two. All in, Oscar and I rode maybe ten rides total. In two days. And the mere thought of going in one of those lines again with a child teetering on the brink of raging after being pushed/pulled was enough for me to seriously reconsider another trip to Disneyland ever again.
This year, we did not ride significantly more rides per day (and we certainly did not run from ride to ride), but we spent more time in the park looking at things, wandering around, spending money (believe me, this thankful parent spent far more as a direct result of her feelings of good will towards the Disney family after this) and just enjoying ourselves. We still took long breaks when it was clear that we were at risk of Oscar melting down, but we weren’t at risk of that after half an hour of being jostled in lines. It was more like a “typical” risk of a toddler tantrum after two to three hours of “regular” park experiences.
The other thing I noticed was that I was not spending all of my time shielding Oscar and worrying about the impending meltdown. Last year I was constantly on alert for anything that could set him off while we were in line; finding ways to increase our personal space while avoiding a confrontation with some of the more aggressive parents waiting in line and generally waiting for IT to happen. This year, waiting in the “other” line, where most of the parents had kids like mine and were so much more aware of personal space issues, I found myself waiting in line like the parent of a toddler without sensory processing disorder. You know, a typical toddler who wants on Dumbo now. It was great. Plus, most of the kids in this line were simply a pleasure to be around.
What to know. Okay, it sounds like a golden ticket, right? In some ways it totally is. In others, not so much. Like I mentioned earlier, this is not a ticket that lets you avoid lines. In fact, at some points of the day, these lines will be LONGER than the “regular” line. Depending on your need, theoretically you could switch to the “regular” line, but that was not really an option for us, since we needed to have more space than that line typically affords. So, when we were faced with this, we just skipped the ride and tried to come back at a later point. We encountered this on both Small World and Dumbo.
You may also be confronted with at least one embittered parent wondering why your kid is getting “special” treatment, wondering aloud how many rides he’s been able to go on that day. I actually answered him that at 8:30 pm that day we had gone on exactly five rides all day. I seriously doubt that any child who needs this card is using it to ride dozens of rides per day. For us, this card just made the rides we went on that much more enjoyable because they were fairly stress free. And, if one is considering defrauding Disney and fabricating a case for his child to get one of these cards when the child doesn’t actually need one, I would encourage him/her to consider that perhaps the one thing better than having this card is not needing it in the first place.
Other SPD Considerations. Any toddler at Disneyland is going to be overstimulated by the end of the day to some extent. Kids with sensory processing disorder are going to hit that point earlier than most. Oscar’s SPD results in his being overwhelmed by sensations. While he is sensory seeking in a few ways, he is mostly what they call “avoidant”, which means he simply cannot handle sensations that children typically can cope with. In addition to the guest assistance card I discussed above, there were a few other things we did to get us through the trip.
First, quickly establish which kinds of rides your SPD child can deal with. Oscar cannot cope with the “dark” rides. The noises and lights are just too much for him. We tried one and avoided that entire category the rest of the trip. Note that there are a lot of these rides, so it’s a fairly significant limitation if your kid isn’t going to go on these.
Second, find some “quiet” rides that can serve to be both an event and some down time. Oscar found one of these on his own – the big white paddle-wheel boat. He loved it and it was a perfect way to go from the intensity of some of his rides to the relaxation he desperately needed. The monorail and Disney train are also good for this.
Third, find the rides that actually serve as part of your child’s “sensory diet” for the day. The spinning from the teacups, the up/down flying motion of the rocket ships or Dumbo, the music from Small World, the carousel or the concerts throughout the park, the lights in the Toy Story ride, it all counts. There are also playgrounds within the park where kids can run, jump and climb without risking getting lost. We even threw in daily trips to the ice cream parlor for those textures and aromas.
Fourth, be aware that the fireworks and World of Colors might be “too much” for your child. Oscar loves the look of fireworks, but the noise is just too intense. Same with World of Colors; he was mesmerized by the music and lights, but some of the sounds were simply too loud for him (although we managed to stay for the whole show). We were able to enjoy the fireworks far more at our hotel room than we did in the park, although it was still too loud even at that distance.
Fifth, consider staying on site or very close to the park. This was a lifesaver for us on both of our trips. We could quickly get back to the park after a few hours napping or relaxing at the hotel or eating at a local restaurant at Downtown Disney. There is no way we could have spent more than four hours at the park at one time. Three hours was really more of our limit. Once we hit the limit, we headed “home,” where we could hang in the room or around the hotel, playing or watching movies.
Sixth, bring some of the comforts of home with you. We brought the mondo mega double stroller with the huge canopies. These were perfect for both kids when it came to shutting out the sensations. Oscar shuts his on his own now when things crowd in on him, and it was certainly helpful for Etta, too, when she needed her naps.
Perhaps most importantly, don’t treat this trip as though it’s the only time you’ll go to Disneyland. . . even if it is. This is a stressful trip, even if your child has typical toddler issues. With SPD, or other similar conditions, there is simply no way you’re going to be able to experience everything the park has to offer. At least not without losing your mind. You’re going to have to choose what you’re going to let you child experience and be comfortable that that is enough. Although we’ve only done this twice now, I’m fairly certain that the mere fact that my kids have been to Disneyland is enough for them. They’re not measuring the success of the trip by how many rides they went on or even what they missed. If that’s enough for them, it’s certainly enough for me.
In one week
I will either be ripping out my hair, wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into, or I will have survived a trans-Pacific trip with two children, somewhat optimistic about our vacation in Thailand. We leave on our first flight (to Seoul) Wednesday afternoon and if we make it through that first leg, will pick up on our connecting flight to Bangkok two hours after we land in Korea, arriving in Bangkok really late on the 16th, just in time to hit our hotel and (hopefully) sleep.
As a traveller, I have totally changed since becoming a mom. I used to not give my trips a second thought. I used to spend my time researching my destinations and figuring out which awesome resorts I’d visit, but that was it. I never worried about anything. Well, if I travelled with someone I would worry about whether they were going to have a good time, which was a huge stresser, so I eliminated that by choosing to travel solo most of the time (one of the best decisions ever, honestly).
I never worried about getting to / through the airport – seriously, how could this be an issue? You want to know how? Well, I travel with one suitcase and a purse, but I’m guessing I’ll need to take stuff for the kids for our 17 night stay in a foreign land. And then I’ll need to carry some stuff onto the flight in order to feed my kids and change diapers, etc. This will result in my needing to get a car service to the airport (since my Mini is not going to be able to cope with the luggage). We’ll take one huge suitcase and another smaller bag (for formula and baby stuff), along with Oscar’s small suitcase (full of nonsense for the flight), my huge diaper bag, possibly Oscar’s backpack and of course the stroller. This means that there will be moments in our trip when I am wearing Etta, pushing Oscar (who will have to carry his Mickey Mouse suitcase), wearing a backpack, carrying a diaper bag and pulling the mega suitcase, which might be dragging the smaller suitcase. We did this on the way back from Oklahoma, but without the small suitcase and the Mickey carry-on. It was tolerable, but not really the easiest thing ever. With the extra stuff? I just hope those luggage carts are easy to find in the airports (since in addition to our flights there and back, we’re flying from Bangkok to Phuket, Phuket to Chiang Mai and Chiang Mai to Bangkok for our return).
I never worried about how I was going to survive a flight – easy – Ambien, personal video and my book reader. Obviously, Ambien and personal entertainment are not options here.
I never considered whether I would drug a child in order for me to survive a flight – obviously, that idea is certainly under consideration right about now. Especially since our first flight does not include a bassinet for Miss Etta.
I never thought about using the bathroom on a flight – frankly, I just avoid this as much as possible. With a toilet-trained toddler? Not an option. I had thought that I’d be able to get Oscar to use a diaper on our last flight, but instead he just screamed “pee pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” over and over. I don’t know how I’m going to get the three of us into an airplane toilet.
I never even considered the possibility of not being able to obtain a visa – I rarely needed one and even if I did, it was granted almost without thought. Apparently that response is not automatically generated for infant children of Ethiopian birth. Thankfully, Etta’s visa was finally granted today after much back and forth with the Consulate.
I never thought about sleeping at a hotel – but given Etta’s behavior last week in a strange crib (pack and play, actually), this is now a consideration. I limited the number of hotels we’re visiting, but there is some variety. We’ll see how both of the kids roll, I guess.
I never worried about personal safety – who was going to mess with me? Perhaps a bit reckless in South Africa or certain parts of Russia, but whatever. I’m not worried about this in Thailand, but obviously I have to think about it. Especially because so many people ask “is it safe there”? I’m betting it’s safer than most cities around here.
I never worried about water/food safety – bottled water and room service/awesome restaurants always did the trick. How likely was it that I’d swallow water in the shower? Not likely for me, but Oscar? I’m less worried about the safety issue than I am the question of what Oscar is going to eat while we’re there. I’ve chosen resorts that have a lot of dining options, including western food, but unless they whip up an amazing mac and cheese, I suspect he’s going to be touchy here. Most of the hotels have ice cream/pastry shops, so at least I’ll be able to get some of that into him. I don’t think there’s much of a chance that I’ll find soy milk for him, though, so perhaps my little guy will finally be off his night-time bottle by the end of this trip?
I never even considered how I’d fill a day if there were inclement weather during my trip – so many options, including sleep and reading and indoor activities. Planning this trip, I learned a lot about family friendly hotels. Each of the resorts fortunate enough to have our business has a kids club. While my kids are too young to go there solo (as if they’d allow this anyway), we’ll have somewhere to go play each day, even if it’s rainy.
I never worried how I was going to fill a day with excursions that were safe – I just went and did whatever I wanted. I didn’t need to consider (a) how I was going to swim with two kids (neither of whom actually know how to swim) at once, (b) whether riding elephants would be scary to a toddler and infant (and whether the elephant people would allow three of us to ride together) or (c) whether rafting down a river (with elephants in the water near us) with the same toddler and infant was a ridiculous idea. The answers? (a) floaties and little rafts, with backup from (swimming) babysitters, (b) maybe, but we’re doing it anyway and (c) most likely, jury is out as to whether we’ll be rafting; more likely we’ll avoid the raft and plant rice instead.
After all of this, I can see why people don’t travel with kids. I’m sort of worn out even before I’ve started packing. I’m currently resolved to not let myself fall into this category of parents, but this trip will be a bit of a litmus test. Oddly enough, even with all of the pre-travel issues and concerns, I’m really looking forward to the trip itself (if not the journey). We’ll see whether this is warranted, I guess.
The Second Happiest Place on Earth
I’ve been trying and trying to accomplish two travel-related goals prior to going to bring Etta home (which will only happen if I get a referral, I know, but these goals have seemed very important and somewhat urgent recently). 1 – find a way to get one paltry little day off work so I can go to Oklahoma to visit friends and family and 2 – find a way to take Oscar to Disneyl*nd for our Family Day without breaking the bank (i.e. I’m not paying anywhere near $500 just to fly to Orange County. I mean, seriously?).
I’ve had no luck with goal #1. I’ve waged an assault for the last two weeks to obtain a day off. Today’s request was to take President’s Day “off” (our office is closed but we are supposed to work). No luck. Apparently I need to be here in case mayhem breaks out once again. After hearing that “something” might be happening with respect to a matter(again), I received an email touting a tantalizing fare from San Francisco to So Cal.
I don’t know about you, but every single time I get one of those emails, the “special fare” is never available. Never. Here, it was only good for two days in the next three months, which ended up miraculously being weekend days, and we got the last two seats. This never happens to me. I’ve been pricing these tickets for a while, and I paid less than half of what I had been expecting! Yay – I might even be able to afford a pair of those mouse ears – not personalized, mind you.
Yes, I know it’s silly to take a 2 1/2 year old to Disneyl*nd. Especially one who doesn’t even know who Mickey is (I know – I have been horribly remiss in my parenting duties in this respect, too), but he does know what the castle and fireworks are (thanks to Meet the Robinsons - still his favorite film), so I think he’s going to be totally thrilled. Especially if I can find a hotel with a heated pool.
We’re going to Disneyl*nd!!!
Archaeology with Oscar*
*Guest Blogger Oscar
My mom woke me up at the butt-crack of dawn because she wanted to see a bunch of old buildings over by the ocean. She made me to go to breakfast at 7:00 am, even though she knows I need to have my first breakfast first before my official breakfast and she didn’t even give me any Cheerios first. So after we went to the restaurant and I refused to eat (duh), she made me get into a taxi (which she knows I HATE) to drive to some place called Tulum.
We got there a long, long time later and there was this cool tram thing that we rode in for a few minutes, but then I had to get into the stroller so we could go to something everyone kept calling the ruins. I didn’t understand the name, since I hadn’t been there before, so I couldn’t have ruined it. I’m sure I’m going to get blamed for it, though. My mom pushed me in the stroller for a while up a bunch of hills through a jungle and then we got out in the open and I didn’t want to sit in the stroller anymore, so I yelled “DA”. My mom just looked at me and pointed at this building and told me how old it was and stuff. Okay, whatever, lady. I just told her “DA” again and she pointed at some plants. C’mon, what’s the problem, woman? I gave her fair warning with a third “DA” and when she went to put me in the stroller, I just told her no (you know, by screaming and arching my back). Then I decided to just sit down. Try to get around that, woman.
Looks like she’s going to try to call my bluff, so I think I’ll pour on the tears. She’ll have to carry me out of here if I’m hurt. See, MaMA, my leg and my thumb are hurt (you remember, I cut my thumb last month). They hurt really bad right now. I think it might have something to do with the 97 degree heat with 95% humidity.
Holy crap. Mean mommy doesn’t even care that I’m hurt. She just kissed my owwies and told me to walk some more or get in the stroller.
Okay, she had to pick me up to carry me up the new set of hills. Mom says it’s beautiful. Um, what? Do you see what I’m seeing? Seriously? I don’t like this at all and I make that clear. Mom explains the guys on the right are just playing, but they’re obviously going to try to push me off the cliff. And what are these crazy people doing? Mom says they’re praying to a Mayan sun god. None of this is right. None of it. Get me out of here. NOW.
Mom at least is carrying me now most of the time, but I’m still not happy. At all. And why did those old people just tell mom that “they rarely continue to act this way when they get to the second grade?” I think they were talking about me. What does she know about any of this stuff?
Mom says she’s going to find something special just for me. I’m skeptical, but I’ve decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for a bit. And, get this, she scored! Look at this guy! Mom got him to jump around and even to run towards us a little. It was pretty awesome. After that mom said she wanted to take this one picture, so I let her, and then we hiked all the way down the hills again to get the stroller. Mom said she was surprised that it was still there, but why would anyone want that thing? Then I told mom I was thirsty and she looked at me funny, and we went into this one store where mom griped about spending $5 for a Coke.
After that, we went back to the taxi. Mom seemed to think that we were going shopping, but after a couple of stops at stores I made it clear that that was not going to happen. We just went back to the hotel to go swimming, which is what we should have been doing all day anyway.
Los saludos de México
Having much fun in Mexico, if you ignore young Oscar’s outbursts every single time he is approached by a strange man on staff at the hotel.
Here he is getting his first taste of salsa music. I think he’ll like it once he figures out the musicians aren’t going to abscond with him in tow.
And here is his attempt at eating at the kiddie pool this afternoon . . . not terribly successful. He ate about a dozen strawberries, a handful of cheerios and one small muffin all day today. Not a good showing.
Ever notice
that when I get stressed out I spend money? Yeah, I picked up on that too. Luckily for me, today I spent it all on clearance sales at J Crew and Athleta for my boy and me, but still. . .
Thoughts on our vacation
We’re back. We’ve been back since 4:35 AM Tuesday. Brilliant move to take the red-eye, genius. Actually, Oscar was such a great traveler this trip. The man sitting next to us on our outbound flight actually asked me if I had Benadryled him when we were getting off the flight, and the woman sitting next to us on our inbound flight kept remarking how “remarkable” he was. ”Not a peep the entire flight”. He really was fantastic. I, however, am just too old for red-eyes, especially when I’m holding a toddler. If you’re doing this, though, it’s great for your kid in terms of getting them back on mainland time quickly (if you can stand a really tough day when you return).
Thanks to everyone who suggested the condo – great choice! We actually stayed in one that was smaller than the one in the photo, in an attempt to “save” money, but it was absolutely perfect for us. Honestly, though, it became clear to me on this trip that all we need for a vacation is a heated pool. It’s likely we’ll stay closer to home for the next vacation, since although Oscar is a top-notch traveler, lugging everything I need for the two of us (even for a 4 day trip) is a nightmare. And I had the grandparents around to help on this trip.
I also don’t know that we’ll return to the Big Island. This is kind of a big deal for me, as aside from Oahu, I’ve never disliked one of the Hawaiian islands before. I shouldn’t say that I dislike it, it’s just that I don’t like it as much as Kauai (or maybe even Lanai). The landscapes are diverse – stark (desolate) and arid on the west coast to green, rolling farmland in the hills, to the more tropical coast on the east. I never imagined the extent of the lava floes, so I’m glad to have had a chance to see it. It’s just that the island seemed to big for me, and I never really got that feeling that I was on vacation. This, of course, could be because I have an active 22 month old and was also checking my blackberry for work fairly constantly. I also did not realize the beach situation on the Big Island. There really is only one great beach on the west side of the island – and it is a fantastic beach – but I guess I’m spoiled in the sense that I expect to go to Hawaii and have my hotel or condo situated on a good beach (doesn’t need to be extraordinary like Hapuna, but at least a good one). The beach next to our condo was quite pathetic, although the development where our condo was located was beautiful, and the pool areas were highly utilized by us.
The other thing about Hawaii right now is that it feels practically empty, although with the cut back in number of flights, the planes are oversold. I would not go thinking that you’re going to get amazing discounts, though. It seems like every vendor is milking the few tourists for all they’re worth. One place we went to (a botanical garden) had recently almost tripled its ticket price from just a few months ago. And, while hotel prices appear lower, even some moderately priced ones are tacking on resort fees and charging for amenities previously included in the room rate. You get the feeling that everyone is in survival mode, although they seem to forget that the very few people who have traveled to get there might be struggling as well and are just determined to eek out a few days relaxation. Of course, I have never considered Hawaii a great value, but it seemed like now it is anything but.
Regardless, it was a great trip, but we’re very happy to be home. Oscar has been overjoyed with being back in his room (to play, of course, not to sleep), and I’m just happy to be back in our house with Nanny Norma and the dogs. Aloha.
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Etta’s Hats
Where I’ve Been
